hollywood housewife

oklahoma relief efforts

As my regular readers know, Friday Links are a regular feature, usually my chance to show off all the stellar internet reading I've done. But my mind can't tear away from the Oklahoma tornado aftermath. It is my plan to return to regular HH programming next week, but I do hope to continue with updates from the heartland.

Well, this certainly wasn't the week Oklahomans expected. So much fear and pain, so much damage. But as the stories of pure miracles trickle in, the tales of heroes and tireless volunteers, it balms the soul just a little. There is hurt and heartbreak and billions of dollars worth of destruction. But there have been moments not of despair. It is my hope that we can cling to those.

Look closely at some of these photos. There are still pictures on walls that have been torn away, plates and cups in cupboards with no kitchen around them. Tornadoes are a strange monster.

My sister and her four children live in south Oklahoma City and her kids go to Moore schools. We are so thankful that they are safe and their house is fine, but so much of their community is flattened. My sister lived in Moore during the May 3, 1999 tornado, too, so this is town is no stranger to rebuilding.

Not that it makes it any better. I'm not sure there is anything that could make it better.

There are ways to make it more manageable, though. While I fully respect the work of the Red Cross, when you donate online or via text, your donation goes to a general disaster fund. If you want to ensure that your contribution goes directly to the relief of the Oklahoma tornado victims, please use one of the ways below:

Feed the Children. I have contacts that work with this OKC-based national organization and they are equipped to do the work.

World Vision. I have worked with World Vision and know that they are committed to helping. You can make a donation here, and my contacts working with WV in Moore are looking for volunteers. Click here for more information. (They're partnering with Hillsdale College, volunteers need to be local or at least already have lodging. If you're in need, you can receive a hot meal, clothes, water, toiletries, diapers, shoes, etc by coming to Hillsdale. It's located at 3701 S. Frontage Road in Moore.)

Oklahoma Baptist Disaster Relief. This keeps getting recommended to me as an organization who was immensely important in the recovery after the 1999 tornado. Donations to their program go directly to local relief.

Oklahoma City Community Foundation. Recommended by people I trust, 100% of your donation goes to aid those impacted by the storm and tornado.

The Pioneer Woman has a list with additional resources, and KFOR is also updating their list.

Via facebook, twitter, and Instagram, I've learned of some really cool things going on. Local businesses donating extra supplies or all the profits from certain sales. Photographers and cooks and contractors are donating their time and skills to the recovery effort.

I'm always proud to be an Oklahoman, but seeing the way this state responds when people are hurting...well, I've never been so glad to call it my first home.

**photos courtesy of World Vision and Miranda Kaye Wiley (volunteer)

a letter to oklahoma

The scenes from the May 20 tornado have been devastating. Having lived through the OKC bombing and the May 3 1999 tornado destruction, this post is inspired by the many Oklahoma ex-pats I witnessed grieving and expressing helplessness yesterday.

Dear Oklahoma,

Among the many who call you home, there are those who no longer reside within your borders.

On normal days we miss your smell, the beauty in your flat land, your food (Oh, Lord, your food!), and, most importantly we miss your people.

On normal days, we wax nostalgic about Sonic runs and teenage tomfoolery. Our face lights up when we, in our current place of residence, meet another wayward Oklahoma soul. Someone who understands the importance of the football schedule, someone to whom cows are not foreign.

On normal days, we carry around Oklahoma in our hearts as part of who we are, though dirt roads are mostly a part of our past.

And then, on days like May 20, we watch from afar the devastation of the land and the souls. We have never felt more invested in Oklahoma. And we have never felt so far away.

We click "donate," we text a series of numbers, but it does little to soothe the fear.

We want you to know, Oklahoma, that the prayers and love aimed your way are not only from the good people of America, but from the legions of us who hold YOU dear, specifically, who understand I-35 as an equator, who needs not an explanation of May tornado destruction.

The difference between you, current Oklahoman, and us, former Oklahomans, is that you can see it with your own eyes, you can reach out and hug a victim, you can drive quickly to the shelter to offer a helping hand, you can take a deep breath of native American air before your sobs.

We're doing what we can from a distance, but it is not the same. Our consolation is knowing, because we've been forced to know, that Oklahoma will withstand this tragedy and show the rest of the world the most solid spirit of any place in the world.

You have our hearts and our prayers.

Sincerely,

Those who still call Oklahoma "home."

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Please donate to the Red Cross by clicking here or by texting REDCROSS 90999 to make a $10 donation.

You can also donate to a local organization on the ground, Feed the Children.

Also World Vision has a disaster relief fund that is responding to the tornado victims.

the silly is the best part

By Sunday evening I was over it. When The Gorilla asked why I was grumpy, I said something about the sheer amount of quality time we'd spent together. Weekends are usually reserved for family, but with last week's houseguests then a tummy bug, there had been a lot of hours of being in the house all together. I was itching for some time to myself, without interruptions, without chubby arms reaching upward.

So I left the house in a hurry - late, but wearing lipstick - and sped through Hollywood for the last showing of Expressing Motherhood. I took the glass of wine offered, sank into the theater seat, and I was tearing up before the show even started. The cast bios alone got me. Have I mentioned I was a little on edge?

friday links - calligraphy edition

This week I went to a calligraphy class at ArtWorks that was hosted by Morgan from the 818 and sponsored by Smirnoff. (Thank you, vodka, for fine penmanship!)

Alex from Type A Calligraphy and Alexandra Wrote was our teacher, and we had a lovely evening sipping martinis and trying to write pretty.

Calligraphy looks like it's hard and guess what? It's hard. I thought since I had good handwriting that writing in ink would be a breeze. Not true! But a fun time was had by all.

Thanks for such a fun party, Morgan!

(Pssst..you can buy a twitter handle necklace like hers at Survival of the Hippest.)

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Things were a little quiet on the HH facebook page this week, but I did share that I found it hilarious that when I posted about Blog Lovin', the comments were mostly in favor of feedly, but that when Simple Mom posted about Feedly, her comments were mostly about Blog Lovin'!

I'm easily amused.

(And also easily irritated. No sooner had I committed to Blog Lovin' did they change up the format. And I have to admit, Simple Mom's customization of Feedly is making me give it another look.)

My column at allParenting this week was about Playdate Etiquette in the Age of the Helicopter Parent.

I'm not saying I've ever had an ackward playdate experience...okay, yes I totally am saying that.

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For your weekend reading pleasure:

• 21 Acts of Parental Brilliance. (Um, why have I never thought of some of these?) (Mommy Shorts)

• One of my very favorite people in the blogoshpere (and just in life) is Elizabeth from Flourish In Progress. You may remember her from her year-long shopping hiatus. She's one of the best writers out there, and we pretty much cemented our friendship after we survived rooming together at the Mom 2.0 conference earlier this month. She does these Hustle Hard interviews and they're always funny, but this month's version with her husband and her daughter was just great. Hustle Hard Interview Project: Harv & Cal.

• The subject of adoptions seems to be everywhere I look right now. These thoughts from Jen Hatmaker about international adoptions are a really important part of the conversation. Examining Adoption Ethics, Part One.

• Putting it all in perspective is The Bloggess. I like it when she just lays it down. Two Uncomfortable Truths: New Merida Looks a Little Whorey. Fewer People Care About This Than You Would Think.

• And if you just want to look at something pretty: Pink Peonies. One of my new favorite fashion blogs.

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Happy weekend!

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backhanded compliment

The Gorilla and I took to the tennis courts. He basically had to drag me there. There are tennis courts close to our house, closer than the yoga studio. Yoga is the first activity we tried together in an effort to tame our tummies while also spending time together. We both really liked yoga. We need more yoga in our life, actually. Yoga is beneficial in at least eight ways. But the yoga place we liked was kinda far away, and arranging extra child care for something we could technically do at home felt stupid. Note that we have never once done yoga at home.

So The Gorilla started pestering me about the tennis courts. I played tennis in high school. I wasn’t very good. Okay, I actually wasn’t terrible, but I definitely wasn’t great. I’m not very strong, so while I could return the ball, there was no power in my stroke. Some would say that all of life is about returning the ball, over and over, so if you can do that then you can do anything. But really, you won’t make it far in the tournament if there’s no strength behind the racquet. This is a life lesson.

When my husband gets something in his head, there’s really no turning back. (See: ginormous fish tank.) I was able to keep him at bay for weeks by shoving my swollen, purple ankle in his face, but his orthopedic father looked at it last weekend and declared my ankle sprain “severe” (validation!), and also in need of some light exercise.

So on Mother’s Day we got rackets and an ankle brace and on Tuesday we drove to the courts. As we turned into the parking lot, I asked The Gorilla if he was nervous. “No,” he answered. Whenever I’m feeling nervous, I ask him if he’s feeling nervous. He always replies no.

We chose an open court and started hitting the ball around. We were awful. Truly abysmal. It took many minutes before either of us could even get the ball back over the net. But the movement felt good. We kept laughing at ourselves and at each other, and The Gorilla would shout out encouraging words diffusing even an ounce of frustration.

“Your backhand is amazing!” he said. Amazing might be stretching it, but my backhand was still good. It was from all those years of drills with my dad and my coach, over and over my backhand because that was my weak spot. How smirky I felt that after 15 years, it was the backhand drills that had endured.

I still couldn’t serve worth a hoot. But neither could The Gorilla.

Weird things kept floating through my head. Things I hadn’t thought about in years. “Follow through!” “Get back to the middle!” “Set up!” “Move to the net!” It felt like a revisit to a cobwebby house where I knew every passage.

I tried to scoop up the ball using my foot and the racket. That will take a little more practice. I remember - with horror! - that I used to keep spare balls in the back of my underpants. What in the world was that about?! But we all did it. We had little navy tennis skirts with navy bloomers, and we shoved the second ball up there to rest on our butts. In practice, when we weren’t wearing uniforms, we just used our underwear. This is completely suspect to me. I can’t believe in all those years no one pointed out how weird of a practice this is. Or even cracked a joke about putting balls in underpants.

This week I just put the spare balls in my pocket.