One year ago today, Pigtail was conceived.
I hate to bring it up because, well, it makes you picture the Hollywood Housewife having sex. And that's awkward. But I do bring it up because I think it's important to acknowledge.
Most people aren't sure when they conceived. It was an *oopsie*, or a happy surprise, or an Oh Sh*t. But when you've weathered months of cycle charts and morning temperatures and only one line on the plastic stick, then you remember the day you conceive, because it is so unlike the days you didn't conceive.
The Gorilla and I wanted to have a family right away. First we were going to wait a full year into our marriage to start trying for a baby, then we backed it up until the summer after our wedding. The timeline kept inching backwards and finally we went for it in the Spring of 2008, just six months after our vows.
We were so naive, it seems now. I simply stopped taking my birth control and thought we would enjoy a very, um, fun summer and hopefully have a little surprise by the end. I specifically didn't want to count days or force the tango.
I didn't think I had anything to worry about. My mom, my sister, my sister-in-law, and most of my girlfriends all got pregnant right away and without any trouble. I only had one or two friends who had struggled with fertility, or at least that talked about it.
That summer, while very fun, came and went. In August, I decided we needed to get more serious about the goal. I read a little, google-searched a little, tentatively asked a few friends. I was embarrassed to realize that we were sorely uneducated about the process. I mean, we knew the process, so to speak, but I was unaware of all that was going on with my body - with any woman's body - during a monthly cycle.
So we figured it out. We discovered how narrow the ovulation window is, and that my ovulation occurs much later than most. We bought ovulation sticks, and a basal thermometer and set to work, trying not to make it feel like a chore.
More months passed, more tears. When we had been trying for close to a year, I was referred to a fertility specialist. I made an appointment for mid-February, and we continued to do what we were doing.
February 1st was Super Bowl Sunday and we had houseguests. We almost skipped that day for the next day, which was better timing for us. But then at the last second, we didn't skip. And on Valentine's Day there were more tears. This time of disbelief and happiness.
Our story has a happy ending. I know that many stories involve years and years of sadness, enduring treatments, praying for a dose of nausea that says pregnancy is kicking in. I am not putting us in the same category with those couples.
I am only saying that when you've been waiting, you know the day you conceive your child.
And it's not awkward to celebrate that life. It's wonderful.