hollywood housewife

a travel tip: choose shoes carefully

I'm traveling this week with my husband The Gorilla as he makes the European rounds promoting his latest movie.  I'll be posting all week about our adventures in Dublin, London, and Madrid. 

It was difficult to pack for three countries, two different climates, and ten days, and get it all in one bag.  And I refuse, refuse to be the girl that has multiple bags.  (Although actually, this would have been the trip to pull something like that since there is lots of help available.  Still, what a pain.)

So certain things had to go.  My faux fur vest was a casualty.  Darling, but too fluffy for the suitcase real estate I was dealing with.  In a last minute fateful decision, I ditched my beloved Uggs (not the puffy-foot kind) which I was mostly going to wear on the airplane anyway.  But they were too close in look & style to my brown riding boots that I wear all the time, with everything.  So I decided that I would simply wear the riding boots on the airplane.

(For further background, I must submit here that my dad has strong ideas on airplane footwear.  Flip Flops are an absolute no-no.  Flips Flops on an airplane for me are a no-no because my feet get cold - and they aren't cute - but flip flops on the plane are a no-no for him because "they are dangerous if you have to run off the aircraft."  I have always believed that if you are running off the aircraft, you have bigger concerns than footwear.  Regardless, both of us find too-casual plane attire to be abhorrent.  If you ever see me holding a boarding pass while wearing a sweatsuit - velour or not - then assume I have been possessed.)

So.  Shoes.  I wore my brown boots and didn't think twice about it.  Two-thirds of the way across the Atlantic, I woke from a light snooze to find my feet throbbing.  My boots were inexplicably tight.  Suddenly, I was an old person muttering about my feet swelling in the altitude.  By the time I landed in London and walked miles through the terminal and customs, my socks were a bloody mess.  I know this because I had to remove them to go through security.  So there I was, miserably standing in my blood-and-goo-stained socks asked for entry into another country. 

Luckily, London Heathrow is a shopping mall of sorts, so I was able to purchase a pair of fleece-lined Clarks to get me through the rest of the travel days ahead. 

I may have packed only one bag to travel to Europe, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be returning with two. 

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Happy Halloween!  Time zone changes and our bizarro schedule means that my posts will go up whenever they get written this week and not on my normal schedule.  That said, I have an AMAZING giveaway happening later on Monday that you will definitely want to see.  

Cheers! 

friday links - halloween weekend edition

I think I forgot to tell you that I'm joining The Gorilla in Europe today for the remainder of his international press tour.  (Beware crazies - we have a full-time housesitter and killer turtles.)

So all next week I'm be coming to you from Dublin, London, and Madrid.  I have some exciting things planned for HH, so check back often and please blame all typos or rambling on time zone delirium. 

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One of my very best friends in the universe started a blog.  You've seen Lindsay pictured here and here.  She lives in Nashville and is the most talented singer and performer.  Go show her some love at The Long Haul.

I've been watching the first season of Arrested Development.  Better late than never, right?  Hysterical.  I can't get enough of the mom.

I went to a screening of the new film Rabbit Hole this week, with a Q&A after with the three producers, including Nicole Kidman, who also stars.  I went to the movie without a clue of the premise.  This was not a good idea.  It was very, very sad.

Is anyone else reading Christopher Hitchens' cancer diaries in Vanity Fair?  They are incredibly written.  Pick up the magazine (one of my favorites) if you get the chance.

Also sad, yet amazing, was this story.  It made me want to make sure and meet my neighbors. (Blogher)

Guess what came out on DVD this week?  A documentary The Gorilla produced a couple of years ago called The Wild Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.  It is fascinating and one of my favorite things he's ever been involved in.

For lots of reasons, this was the best thing I've read this week.  (The Awl)

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Why are most of the links sad this time?  Complete coincidence, I swear.  We actually had a great week together, Pigtail and I, and I am beyond excited for the next eight days.

Have a fun and safe Halloween weekend, HH readers!

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foley + corinna bags

Nora cruised into book club with a Foley + Corinna bag and I was instantly smitten.  My quest for the perfect bag is ever-evolving, but I have hit on something that is satisfying my every bag need: Foley + Corinna bags are my new favorite.

The leathers are great (both in softness and in color), there are the right amount of pockets for someone like me who hates to dig, and the styles are timeless enough to last for several seasons. 

At a blow out sale last month, I bought two (yes, two!) Foley + Corinna bags to satisfy my every travel and daily-use need. 

The Jet Setter Jr. is a good travel bag for me because it goes with everything and is big enough for the massive amounts of stuff I feel the need to tote around everywhere, but not so big that I'm swimming in it.  Plus it looks good.  (top photo from their website, bottom photo is my actual bag.)

The mid-city tote is perfect as a daily bag because you can fill it up (for long days) or fold it over (for quick errands) and the long strap option works well when I am dealing with the baby and need to be hands free.  (top photo from their website, bottom photo is my actual bag.)

Do you love?  You may or may not need to browse their selection, so that you have in mind which Foley + Corinna bag you would pick were that option to fall into your lap. 

You know, just in case. 

how does someone like me end up with someone like him?

This is the most oft asked question I get about my marriage.

If you know us at all - in real life or from afar - it is easy to discern that we are, in many ways, complete opposites.  We are both quick to admit that the other is not what we had planned.

I am:    prissy

He is:    not

I am:    faith-based

He is:    not

I am:    fairly conservative

He is:    fairly liberal

I:        make snap judgments and hold grudges

He:     is generous and forgiving to a fault

I:        can be easily offended and rarely swear

He:     makes a living with vulgar and perverse humor

I:        think I'm funny

He:     does not

I:        read books/magazines/the internet voraciously

He:     barely reads his texts

I:        could sleep for fifteen hours straight and still wake up sleepy

He:     has never, since he exited the womb, slept more than a handful of hours at a time

I:        get overwhelmed and anxious with too much activity

He:     thrives on it

I:        get emotional about something at least once a day

He:     is a steady rock

 

Still, we do make sense together. 

The easy answer is this:  We are not as different as we seem.

The hard answer is this:  We work hard to make compatible the parts of us that are contrary.

The Gorilla is not at all who people expect him to be if they know his work.  In our home, he isn't crass or stunt-y.  And wherever he is, he brings an integrity that the public doesn't see.

If you've seen his most recent movie, then you've seen more of his flesh than I reveal on this blog.  You've also seen a Pigtail cameo.  And you might think to yourself, "How does someone let their baby end up in a movie that features humorous nudity?"

I'll tell you who: Someone like me who ends up with someone like him.

for every good girl with doubts: evolving in monkey town

I happened to stumble across Rachel Held Evans' blog just around the release of her book Evolving in Monkey Town.  After browsing just a few posts, I decided to download the book right away.

From the introduction:

"I was a fundamentalist in the sense that I thought salvation means having the right opinions about God and that fighting the good fight of faith requires defending those opinions at all costs.  I was a fundamentalist because my security and self-worth and sense of purpose in life were all wrapped up in getting God right - in believing the right things about him, saying the right things about him, and convincing others to embrace the right things about him too.  Good Christians, I believed, don't succumb to the shifting sands of culture.  Good Christians, I used to think, don't change their minds."

My small town faith took a real beating during my last two years of college, and moving to a large, strange city where I knew no one didn't help much.  I tried to find a church home, but for different reasons both of the avenues I pursued didn't work out, and I remained discouraged and disillusioned by the wider church.  Over time, many of the kinks of my early twenties smoothed themselves out, but some of the harder questions remained.  When I found Rachel Held Evans' thoughts on the more difficult topics, I felt like I had found a kindred spirit.

It's not that there aren't other people talking about their doubts in the Christian faith, but I haven't heard many others that have a voice I recognize.  When talking about God and the Bible, I prefer not to be talked down to and not to be dumbed down to, and I prefer equality in the conversation, without one of us believing they're speaking the divine word and that the other person isn't.  In Evolving in Monkey Town, I discovered an honest, intelligent conversation about Jesus from a girl who desperately wanted the truth. 

On doubt, from Evolving in Monkey Town:

"Doubt is a difficult animal to master because it requires that we learn the difference between doubting God and doubting what we believe about God."

Growing up, I wasn't spoonfed my faith.  I had to seek out what I believed and why.  I grew up in a thinking home, and my childhood church encouraged conversation and different perspectives.  But somewhere along the way - from a confluence of influences, no doubt - I began to believe some things in my faith that I know now were not quite right.  And those things, they have taken a long time to unravel themselves. 

From Evolving in Monkey Town, on what she would say to the group of 17-year-old girls that she once mentored:

"I would tell them not to be ashamed, that God loves them just as they are and isn't agry at them for wanting to take on the world as powerful women.  I would tell them that to claim there is a biblical view of dating is a bit of a stretch, since people in the Bible didn't date.  I would tell them that using the Bible as a model for marital relationships requires some selectivity, seeing as how in Bible times women were generally sold by their fathers to the highest bidders, men were free to take as many wives as they pleased, and women who had been raped could be required to marry their rapists.  I would tell them that the idea of a single, comprehensive biblical worldview to which all Christians can agree is a myth and that it's okay to ask questions about people's interpretations.  I would tell them that this doesn't diminish the beauty and power of the Bible but rather enhances it and gives Christians something to talk about.  And I would tell them that womanhood, like the Bible, is far too lovely and mysterious and transcendent to systematize or explain."

This book, like almost all of my picks, is not for everyone.  I spoke to one friend who read it and, while she enjoyed it, didn't connect with RHE's crisis of faith when she realized that not everything she learned in Sunday school was perfect.  As we talked about the book further, it was clear that my friend's community (metropolitan, not in the Bible belt) gave her a much more diverse experience in childhood than mine did.  Growing up, my friend knew people of other faiths and was offered a wider worldview than I was in my small town, where people were either Christian or they weren't.  I was legally an adult before I was aware of anyone I knew personally who practiced a different religion.  Neither of these experiences are right or wrong, just different, and the conclusions I drew then and now are my own. 

If you wrestle with some things about the church, and aren't sure how to articulate them, then Evolving in Monkey Town may be something you need to read.  I was left with the reminder that God is a much bigger God than we usually give him credit for.

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gender reveal party

On Saturday my dear, pregnant, friend Rachel had a little party with the most memorable of goals: to reveal the gender of her baby!  It wasn't only a reveal for the guests, Rachel and her husband Kevin were in for a surprise, too.  Here's the invite she sent out.

Here's what she did: At her twenty week appointment early last week, she had the doctor write down the gender of their baby on two separate pieces of paper without telling her what she was writing. 

She took one of the pieces of paper to SusieCakes, a bakery in Brentwood, and asked them to make two dozen cupcakes.  Susiecakes filled all of the cupcakes but one with white icing, and the last cupcake got either a pink or blue filling.  (The second piece of paper was a just-in-case way to double-check.)

At Rachel and Kevin's party on Saturday, all the guests gathered in the dining room and picked up a cupcake.

I was nervous.  I don't know why.  Either way is wonderful news, of course. 

Kevin video'd the big event for family who lived far away.

There was giggly excitement in the room as Kevin counted down loudly, "1-2-3-BITE!" and we all took huge bites of the (yummy) cupcakes.  There was a brief silence until someone said, "mine's white" and then there was a chorus of "mine, too."  We looked around the room until all eyes landed on Nora's husband who, from the back, said softly, "um..." 

With wide eyes, Andrew turned his cupcake around to reveal......well you'll just have to check out Rachel's blog tomorrow to see what color filled the cupcake.

But it sent everyone into squeals and screams and hugging and happy tears.  It was such a special, special, moment.  I loved being a part of it. 

Have you ever been to a gender reveal party or anything like it?  You know I love collecting reasons to throw a soiree!

sunday in the canyon - cookies & monkey hoodies

Running in a monkey hoodie.

Cookies for dinner.

That pretty much sums up the weekend.

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friday links

To continue the Craig's List saga, the credenza seller brought by the pair of wingback chairs I mentioned.  Wouldn't you know it, they were just right.  The right size and definitely the right price, compared to similar wingbacks in stores right now. 

I had envisioned reupholstering them in some sort of textured material (the seller's friend suggested mohair, wouldn't that be fabulous?) but I don't hate the blue on blue that's happening.  I never would have chosen that, but it's soothing.  If a bedroom full of strewn-about bathroom items can be soothing. 

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Links to check out (some of these are a little backlogged since I haven't had a proper Friday Links in a few weeks.):

My brother owns the bar where this music video was shot. (CMT)

I did not even know this kind of thing was possible.  I'm very, very interested.  How To Be Gwen Stefani And Have Your Husband Shut Up About It. (MODG)

Much has been said about blogging, and how it's changed and how it's stayed the same.  I like this take on it.  (San Diego Momma)

There is so much I like about this blog, but the journals are what really take my breath away.  Click here or maybe here. (Dispatch from LA)

You didn't think I'd go more than a couple of days without mentioning the movie, did you?  The funniest thing I've read about it so far: The 10 Most Pretentious Quotes from JA3D Reviews.  (FilmDrunk)

I have an upcoming project that is stressing me out, and when I stress out I tend to dawdle.  I may need the software program "Freedom" that locks you off of the internet for a time period set by you.  I heard about it from this article.

Only if you've read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo trilogy will you understand why this is hilarious.  And, though it hardly seems fair to link to a Nora Ephron New Yorker piece, it's still the best thing I've read this week.

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We're spending some time together as a family, attending a couple of get-togethers, and working around the house over the next couple of days.

Happy weekend, HH readers!

craigs list credenza

There are a couple of key pieces for the new house that I've been keeping my eye out for: a dining room credenza and a pair of wingback chairs for the master bedroom.  The pieces that I found in stores and online were outrageously expensive and I just wasn't willing to pay for that right now. 

Instead, I've been scouring flea markets and thrift stores.  I wanted to find something I could make my own (painting the credenza the exact shade of blue I wanted or re-upholstering the chairs in the perfect fabric), and that process is mentally easier if you haven't already spent a ton before you change it. 

This past Sunday, it was rainy and awful in LA.  Instead of hitting the flea market, I logged onto Craig's List.  Now, I have never in my life used Craig's List for anything.  I think, back in the day, I browsed apartment rentals there but I don't think I ever followed up on one.  So no one was more stunned than me when I happened upon the perfect credenza within minutes. 

I emailed the seller and he called me in under a half hour.  This is too good to be true, right?  He's a scam artist.  Or a murderer.  Surely.  Naturally, I made plans to meet him on Tuesday. 

After music class, I plugged the address to a storage unit in the valley into my GPS.  I brought the baby for protection.  And my friend Katie.  And her baby.  Because nothing says Don't Mess With Us like two blondes with toddlers.

Turns out the seller was actually a really nice guy, a set designer who gets these cool pieces from garage and estate sales and then flips them on Craig's List.  Midway through our meeting, he gets glasses out of his truck and asks me to put them on and look at the credenza. 

Was this the trap?  Was I about to faint in a heap on the pavement from the poisonous glasses?  Katie was playing mere feet away with the babies, but I looked her way befuddled.  She burst out laughing.  I didn't get it.

Standing in the middle of a storage unit deep in the valley with 3D glasses on, I still didn't get it.

He's a fan of the movie. 

"How did you even know?"  I asked.  "Did you google me?"  In his defense, I guess he has to make sure I'm not a crazy killer either.  But he didn't google me, he Facebook'd me.  And there I was in my profile picture, on the red carpet with my 3D glasses.  Combined with the last name, he made the connection.  (What have we learned from this?  We have learned to think long and hard about our profile pictures.)

The credenza was great and I bought it on the spot.  He even delivered it to my home later in the day and, as he is a set designer with lots of cool photos of his work, we got to talking home design.  I told him about my search for the pair of wingback chairs and he gave me the funniest look.  He had just sold a pair of wingbacks but the lady wanted to return them.  He emailed me a picture and - by what can only be the strangest coincidence - they might just be perfect.  In the meantime, I showed him the space I was trying to fill and all I could think of was, There's a stranger in my bedroom that I met on Craig's List.

Luckily, I am used to having strangers in the bedroom.  The Craig's List stranger and the bathroom workers waved hello to one another. 

I thought I wanted to paint the credenza to make it less brown in the dining room, but the wood matches so well that I can't bear to.  I'm going to add pops of color in another way, I've decided. 

The gold knobs on the credenza doors (my favorite feature) go well with the detail on the chandelier. 

Now, if I can score a crendenza and two wingbacks after five minutes of browsing Craig's List, I may never go to the flea market again. 

left and right handed

"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (Matthew 6:3-4, NIV)

I received this comment on one of the {Housewife Heart} posts:

I feel like it's a personal mission for each family. I commend you for drawing attention to the charities, but for us, the giving is very close to our heart and something that I do not tell others about when I do it. I hope you have found what is close to the heart as well.

I was going to respond in the comments, but then decided that maybe this is something that should be shared for all my readers. 

I want to say that I understand the commenter's thoughts and that I knew that the way I went about the Housewife Heart project might not be for everyone.  In fact, when I first came up with the idea, I stalled on it because of the perception.  I worried about the perceived motivations and I worried about - frankly - the tackiness of such a project.  Actually, I received less criticism than I geared myself up for. 

So for those of you who maybe wanted to say something about the project and didn't, I want to offer a brief explanation for why I went forward with it.  Outside of my clearly stated reasons for Housewife Heart - to educate my readers and myself on worthy charities - I came up with two  arguments for why I took on Housewife Heart and why we shouldn't always stay silent on our charitable endeavors:

Giving Is Contagious.  I believe that when a friend or someone you like shows you how they support something - monetarily or otherwise - it motivates those around them to also get involved.  Sure, we all hope we have the moral fortitude to give faithfully in a charitable manner, but sometimes it falls by the wayside unless pressed.  I don't mean in a peer pressure way, I mean in a logistical way.

For example, when there's a natural disaster somewhere across the country, don't we all sit and stare at the screen mesmerized in sadness?  And don't we think - or say - "I just wish I could help."  Since most people cannot leave their daily lives to physically help the affected area, the next best thing is to send money to an individual or organization that is on the ground helping.  But then these thoughts run through your head:

Didn't that [major charity] get a bad reputation for some money mismanagement after the last natural disaster?

or

I applaud what that friendofafriendofafriend is doing there, but where would my money actually go? 

Or even

How much should I send?  How much do you think _____ actually sent?  We really need a new dishwasher and sending a check in the mail is a stressful risk I can't handle right now.

Before long, all thoughts of actually helping have left our minds.  Unless.  Unless your neighbor or your church or your sister offers up an easy way to help.  They've already done the research or they explained how they worked out the finances in their family.  It gives you a place to start. 

Giving Needs A Goal.  Originally, I was going to keep the ending donation vague and hope that everyone just got into the spirit of the thing.  But when I was discussing with my husband how much we would be willing to give to a charity chosen by my readers, I realized that all projects work best when there is a tangible end.  In this case, the tangible end goal was a donation of a specific amount.  

When goals are stated clearly, they are more likely to be attained.  I encourage you to set a goal in your family centered around charitable giving.  Whether it's a percentage of income or a certain number of hours per month, you're more likely to find a means if the end is specific. 

I also love the idea of group giving.  If a group of friends or neighbors sponsors a project together (perhaps alternating by month or delegating tasks), it keeps everyone accountable, which is sometimes all we need not to let the laziness win. 

Our Housewife Heart donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is not the only charitable giving our family has done this year.  We have a small handful of causes that we've been involved with for several years, and recently a few new opportunitues have presented themselves for future involvement.  I have not highlighted any of these organizations - although I might eventually - nor am I in the business of discussing specific dollar figures on much of anything around here.

Money is such a tricky, tricky, subject.  Discussing it is a social taboo and between friends it becomes complicated.  I do hope that the {Housewife Heart} project came across as intended, and, far from feeling defensive, I want to welcome all types of discussion at HH.

photo by nathanmac87