I really wanted this summer to be about Not Waiting. Somehow the end of last year became an endless cycle of Waiting For The Next Thing and I was aware of how antsy, how desperate, I felt most days but wasn't sure how to make it better.
Then all of those things happened. After the movie was over, Pigtail toddled around a finished bathroom, in the same space where I found out I was pregnant again.
Pregnancy sickness set in and I felt like my heart hit the reset button.
Waiting to puke, waiting to not puke, waiting for a friendship to heal, waiting for this blog to write itself, waiting to escape to the lake.
Then all of those things happened.
Now it's almost July and I've spent five weeks at the lake, purposefully Not Waiting. It's been a perspective check that I needed and dreaded.
I think I've finally hit a different sort of reset button.