Have you heard of this? Push presents? Where the baby daddy is expected to reward the new mom with some sort of diamond or fur after delivery?
I say "diamond or fur" only halfway tongue-in-cheek, because every time it's discussed it seems to be some sort of jewelry or other item that tends to fall into the romance category. I didn't exactly scream "I Hate You!" at The Gorilla in the labor room, but I wasn't feel romantic, either. (And neither was he. Clearly.)
The idea of push presents has to be a new thing. It's hard for me to imagine my female sisters of yore DEMANDING some sort of material compensation for pushing out their own baby. That's what it feels like to me - a diva demand. Like the underlying tone is, "Look what I did for you while you stood by and did nothing. I want something shiny to make up for my mangled body and nether regions."
And that is simply not how I view The Gorilla in light of the birth process.
Now, maybe your husband just wanted to get you something sweet and sentimental to remember the moment. If that's the sentiment, then I applaud his tender heart. But if he was sweating it out at Tiffany's two days before your induction, then I wonder if that's coming from him or from your heavy hints.
The day after my delivery complications with Pigtail, The Gorilla went to the mall with my mom to pick up a few things. As they passed the Apple store, my sweet husband told my mom that he might drop in and get me a new laptop. She looked at him like he was crazy and said, "No, let's not." He hadn't planned to get me any sort of gift, but he was feeling tired and helpless and worried from the past few days and it was all he could think of to make things better. This memory still makes me giggle.
I think it's appropriate to mention here that The Gorilla and I also did not exchange wedding gifts - didn't even know we were supposed to, isn't the wedding/honeymoon/eternal love enough? - and we have never exchanged Christmas gifts. We do, however, go big for birthdays. These are our own relationship rules, which I understand are not exactly traditional.
I am not against sweet gestures, I am certainly not against gifts. What I am against is the thought that you deserve anything more than a beautiful healthy baby after you push.
Agree or Disagree? Are push presents sweet or offensive?
photo by stevendepolo