hollywood housewife

friday links - one month left in the year!

Jess from I Rock So What, Heather from The Spohrs are Multiplying, Maggie from Gussy Sews, HH, and Morgan from the818 at the Santa & Me event I hosted at Americana this week.

This week we came home from the east coast where we spent Thanksgiving, decorated the house for Christmas, had date night at the Lakers game, and met Santa at a party I threw at Americana. 

And it's not even December yet!  I need a nap.

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On the HH facebook page this week, we had a lengthy discussion about whether or not Santa leaves gifts wrapped or unwrapped under the tree.  It was so interesting to hear how families do things so differently!  Since it's my first Christmas not in my hometown, I'm thinking about all these decisions.

Also the facebook page, I called for Christmas music suggestions and of course you guys had all kinds of fun recommendations.  I downloaded my whole holiday playlist using that thread.

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In the past couple of weeks at allParenting, I've written about What Goes Into a Great Holiday Card and also Drugstore vs. Department Store Makeup.

I don't lack for opinions.

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For your weekend reading pleasure:

Don't you love it when you find a fun new blog? (Smitten Studio)

The parental mind runs amuck.  My Daughter's Transience and Inevitable Death.  (Black Hockey Jesus)

It's Possible that Breastfeeding Is Like Gay People Kissing On Days of Our Lives.  (Mommy Nanni Boo Boo)

I want my whole life to look like these pink & gold wedding invitations.  (Oh So Beautiful Paper)

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It's supposed to stay rainy all weekend in LA, but we have plans to go to Knotts Merry Farm anyway.

Happy weekend!

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you have to do your third movie in 3D. it's a rule.

In 2010, my husband The Gorilla directed and produced his third movie, his first in 3D, and the third installment of a franchise he created.  That year, it broke the box office record for a fall movie opening (but lost the title in 2011). 

This week we got to chatting about 3D movies and while film makers keep doing them.  I also asked his executive producer to fill in some of the financial details.   

HH: 3D has had quite a resurgence in the last few years.  Why did you choose to do your last movie in 3D?

Because it was our third movie and you have to do your third movie in 3D.  It’s a rule.  But it was also a way to make our movie an event, add a new dimension and twist to it.

HH: How do you even make a movie 3D?

There are two ways to do it: either shoot it in 3D (using special cameras) or shoot it in 2D (regular) and then convert it.  We shot our movie in 3D, but it’s done both ways.

We used two types of 3D cameras.  One was a hand-held custom built rig and the other was a mounted rig that was too big to hold.  We wanted the hand-held for our style of movie. 

Each 3D camera is really two cameras.  One is representing your left eye and one is representing your right eye.  The average human eye is 2.5 inches apart pupil to pupil.  So the camera lenses had to be 2.5 inches apart.  The hand-held rigs had two smaller cameras on each rig.  It looked like two flashlights.  The mounted camera used a beam splitter.  Since the camera was so much bigger, you couldn’t have the lenses 2.5 inches apart because the lenses themselves were too big.  One camera shoots down into a angled mirror which allows you to cheat it. 

HH: So did you have to have special camera men for this or can anyone do it?

Each camera had a stereographer attached.  A sterographer is someone who is very trained - a specialist - and his job is to adjust the 3D for every shot.  But then there was also a cameraman.  Any cameraman could shoot because it shot like a regular camera, but you would have to have the stereographer there.  We used our regular cameramen to shoot the movie.

HH: What’s the difference between shooting it in 3D vs. converting it?

Well, converting it is more expensive.

I think shot 3D looks better.  Originally we were going to convert because that was a safer route for us, we didn’t want to change our film making process.  But then we did some tests and we found the right 3D crew and it just looked so good.

HH: So 3D films are more expensive to make?

They are more expensive, but not across the board.  You don’t pay an actor more to act in a 3D movie, for example.  So some costs stay the same.  But others go up, like equipment and added crew.  The 3rd movie in our franchise cost about 15% more to do in 3D than it would have otherwise.

HH: And what about the theaters?  How have they dealt with the influx of 3D movies?

Theaters had to upgrade in order to show 3D movies, which is why a 3D ticket costs more than a normal theater ticket.  The glasses are part of that up cost.  But there still aren’t a whole ton of 3D-capable movie theaters.  If they didn’t upgrade before the economy tanked, they’re not going to upgrade now. 

HH: Do you feel like it was worth it for your movie?  Did it bring more people to the theater?  Did it add to film?

For us, we were a natural to go 3D.  People wanted to see the spectacle of what we did.  Not all movies are right for 3D.  Like there’s no reason to shoot a romantic comedy in 3D.

HH: What’s your favorite 3D shot in your movie?

We had a custom-built 3D phantom camera.  A phantom camera shoots 1,000 frames a second, it’s super slow motion.  Those 3D shots look spectacular.  Everything was so slow-moving, you could really study the dimension of it.  My favorite shots weren’t always the predictable ones like things shooting right towards your face, like how we shot the dildo bazooka.  One of my favorite shots was when we had Ehren blindfolded and we were trying to get the donkey to kick him.  The barn, the wide-shot, it just looked really cool. 

HH: Remember when you shot the dildo bazooka scene in our back yard?  Was I cool with that?

Yeah, you love that shit.

HH: Do I?

Yeah.  You do.

give a goat

Earlier this year I traveled to Sri Lanka with World Vision.  I support the work that they were doing internationally.

The holiday season is officially upon us. There are gifts to buy and recipes to perfect and cards to be addressed. And while we may all spend the next frenzied weeks trying really, really hard not to let what’s important get lost in the shuffle, sometimes things slip through the cracks.

We intend to give back, we intend to get involved. But there are many options to choose from, and before we know it we’re celebrating the New Year.

I want to make it easy for you. I want to show you how a holiday gift through World Vision can transform lives. Through the World Vision gift catalogue, you can choose specific items that help keep people alive, that aid in other’s struggles, that helps to ensure they’ll see next year’s holiday season and the next and the next.

Here are my favorite gift ideas through the World Vision catalogue:

play doh psych out

When I told my mom that we had decided to spend Christmas in Los Angeles for the very first time, she replied that my dad sure would be sad.

No word on her own emotions.

In all my thirty-three years, I’ve never not woken up in my parent’s home.  I’ve never not had my momma’s homemade waffles for Christmas breakfast.  I’ve never not, in the whole of my lifetime, spent this holiest of holidays away from the people who brought me life.

Clearly, I’m already weeping into my childhood tree ornaments.

The Gorilla and I have always said that we would start to have Christmas at home when our babies were old enough to understand.  Early in November I started to convince myself that we could squeak by with one more December 25 in Oklahoma, that my preschool-attending toddler wouldn’t know any better.  My husband started reminding me that I’ve declared each of the last few holidays in my hometown to be the last. 

But each fall I get nostalgic, and don’t want to be the one standing over the waffle maker, and I picture the vintage Coca-Cola Santa that my mom keeps on the mantle, and I book tickets back to the middle of the country. 

Not this year, though.  We looked at our holiday schedule and it didn’t make sense to be anywhere except California on Christmas morning, and so I suppose I’ll have to grow up and face the stocking stuffers. 

We’ve put up a tree every year since we’ve been married, no matter that it was store-bought and pre-lit because the real tree would be freshly picked, occasionally flocked, and decked to the twelve-foot ceiling by my mother, whose annual Christmas decorations puts anyone to shame.  There’s garland over every doorway and down the brass banister.   

Now I’m going to have to create the magic myself and fake it in more ways than one.  I browsed the big box stores this weekend looking for inspiration.  I got a little excited at the thought of my own kids being attached to the same decorations used year after year.  This made me want to choose carefully.  It also made me want to buy a cinnamon candle (and ignore the fact that my mom’s house smells like cinnamon because she actually burns cinnamon sticks and candy on the stove.  That’s advanced Christmas-ing folks, check back with me in a few years).

Last week we flew to the east coast to spend Thanksgiving with The Gorilla’s family.  On Saturday night in the airport we ate Five Guys burgers and named all of the things we had loved about the trip. 

Pigtail’s best part of Thanksgiving?  The Play doh.

Grandma brought her a play doh set that did indeed occupy her for great lengths of time while the rest of us ate and got beaten in ping pong tournaments.  And we’re talking pretty normal Play Doh here.  Ten hours worth of flying, two train rides, two bus rides, and twenty pounds of turkey later, all my daughter talks about is the Play Doh.

This sets the bar pretty low for my first-ever Christmas season.  A good thing to remember...or not.

happy thanksgiving!

We've spent the last few days with family, being thankful.

We've watched football, we've played football, we've gone to the park twice.

I feel more and more thankful every year. 

With good reason.

I hope you had a beautiful holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.

daring greatly by brene brown and writing down the bones by natalie goldberg

I've heard so much about Brene Brown in the last few years.  Her Ted talk on The Power of Vulnerability has over 6.5 million views.  Her words have impacted so many.  So I downloaded her new book Daring Greatly: How the Courage To Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead the week it came out.

I'm not sure what I was expecting.  Becoming more vulnerable doesn't seem high on my To Do list.  Feeling shame was not something I thought was on my emotional radar.  While I can be very sensitive, "shame" as I understood it before didn't apply to me.  My childhood was healthy, my adulthood is fairly self-aware.  But everyone feels shame in one form or the other, even if you would never use that term.  What I liked about Daring Greatly was that it made me notice when shameful thoughts creep in, and that calling them such reduces their power. 

I shared my favorite quote from the book on the HH facebook page awhile back, but there were other doozies:

"But the real struggle for women - what amplifies shame regardless of the category - is that we're expected (and sometimes desire) to be perfect, yet we're not allowed to look as if we're working for it."

And also, on competing and conflicting expectations:

• Be perfect, but don’t make a fuss about it and don’t take time away from anything, like your family or your partner or your work, to achieve your perfection.
• Don’t upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings, but say what’s on your mind.
• Dial the sexuality way up (after the kids are down, the dog is walked, and the house is clean), but dial it way down at the PTO meeting. 
• Just be yourself, but not if it means being shy or unsure.
• Don’t get too emotional, but don’t be too detached either.

This kind of book (essentially self-help) isn’t for everyone, of course.  And though the quotes I chose were related to women, the whole book isn’t about that, those are just a few of the things that struck me. 

I liked the book because it made me recognize some things about myself and my thought patterns and the way that I react.  It helped that I happened to read it on a weekend that I needed to read it, as I wrestled with an unhealthy attitude towards circumstances out of my control.

Daring Greatly would be a good End of the Year book or a great New Years book, if you’re the type who marks seasons.

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I have been meandering through Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within for months and months now.  I’m usually not the type who reads several books at once (how do you people do that?), but this wasn’t a narrative.  It’s short (mostly very short) little essays from author Natalie Goldberg on writing. 

I just loved it.  This book spoke to me in quiet little ways.  The effect was really subtle, but it may be one of my favorite books on writing ever.  I finished it in a big fluffy bed in a little wooden cottage up in Ojai last weekend.  It was the perfect place for it.

This would make a great little gift for a writing friend or teacher or a stocking stuffer for the lover of words. 

I want to buy one for every writer I know.  But I won’t.  Because, happily, that would get expensive.

Are you reading anything exciting right now?  I'm making baby steps with The Twelve.

i believe in...

• The transformative nature of a true friendship.  Maybe I say that every year.  Maybe it’s true.  This year I fell into a group of women that have changed who I am.  Or rather, enhanced who I am.  My approach to the day, my writing, even my other friendships have been positively impacted by this gift delivered to my cyber doorstep.
• The strength of my marriage vow.  Marriage is, as they say, hard.  My husband and I have been together for eight and a half years, and married for five.  In that time, we’ve gone to bed angry, we’ve pouted for days, we have walked through these years with the various ups and downs of partnership.  Our relationship is often very easy, but in the times when it’s not, I am reminded again and again that it is worth it.
• The power of a well-written sentence.
• The healing of a deep-tissue massage.
• Experience.  How it changes you and how it doesn’t.  Sometimes you give life, and you feel numb.  Sometimes, you go to the other side of the world and the most important sight is the heartbreak of another American in the van.  Sometimes you lose someone, and the grief of that causes you to gasp for breath years later.  What you’re sure will change the topography of your heart, might not.  And vice versa. 
• The importance of story telling.  The internet gives millions and millions of people a voice.  This never ceases to amaze me.  I believe in story telling, no matter the form. 
• Naps.  Journaling.  Soothing the day with cookies.
• Putting your money where your mouth is, figuratively speaking.  If I’m going to hold true to my principles, this requires a follow through on the other side.  There is no “other.”  There is not “someone else.”

Things are old and then new again.  Life is very, very complicated.  Life is very, very simple.

The holidays officially start this week.  I believe.

sweet

Once upon a time, a lifetime ago, The Gorilla was the editor of a skateboard magazine.  This was all before my time, so I only hear stories, but you can get the gist of it here.

When we go to skateboarding events - like this week's Pretty Sweet premiere - I love watching my husband in his element.  Shaking hands with guys he's known for decades, hugging guys he's known since they were teenagers are the skate park.  He's always introducing me to a scruffy face and claiming them as legend.  I always smile politely and then later he shows me skate footage and I think

Legend.

The thing about skateboarders?  They're sweetly sentimental.  I think people expect these tattooed "outcasts" - for that's how they've branded themselves - to be one way, and they're usually very sweetly not.  

I love this about them. 

The Gorilla made his rounds, we watched the (amazing) video, then grabbed a round of drinks with friends at a nearby bar.  We skipped the official afterparty.  We had to get home because we had an early parent/teacher conference the next day.

Isn't that hilarious? 

friday links - blown away edition

Y'all.  The One Day project turned into an event.  I loved every second of it.

In a way, social media (the truly social kind) is all about sharing the mundane parts of your day.  But for some reason, this really felt different.  The pictures took it up a notch.  Everyone participating at the same time gave it extra excitement.  

Just for one day, I was aware of my every move.  My brain clicked along with "how can I document this?" and while this could get real tiresome real fast, for one day it felt good.  Like I was really living in the moment, as they say.  It wasn't a perfect day, it definitely wasn't a perfect representation of my life every single day.  There were many things I missed capturing, and many things that weren't necessarily normal about that 24 hours.  I guess this is why doing a Week In the Life is a better slice.  That way you could capture a date night and also an evening in.  You could show different outfits and different meals and get a much bigger picture.  But, for what it was, it was great.

I was blown away by the participation.  As of now, there are over 1,200 pictures in the Instagram hashtag, and at least 30 people have linked up their posts or pictures on the One Day post.  I haven't made it through all of them yet, but I will.  The linky will be live until the end of the weekend, for those who still want to link up.  You guys just ROCKED it, and I was giddy watching the pictures flood in all day.  It seemed like the momentum built and more people jumped in as the day went on.  It was just really, really fun. 

I may have to do another one down the road.

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I'm throwing a party!  If I have any say about it, I'll be throwing several parties in 2013, in LA, Oklahoma, Texas, and who knows where else!  I want you to be on my party list.  You don't have to be a mom or a blogger.  But if you're interested in the types of things I post here at HH, you might be interested in attending one of these events. 

To be on the Hollywood Housewife party list, fill out the form here.

While you're clicking around, make sure you enter the Lisa Leonard giveaway for a gift certificate or the tiny twig necklace identical to the one I'm wearing in this picture. Giveaway ends tonight!

Last self-promotion: I wrote about Fall Decor That Works Through the Holidays.  This is because I'm a lazy holiday decorator.  There, I said it. 

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I really want people to go click through the linked-up One Day-ers, but I do have just another couple of things for your weekend reading pleasure:

To New Writers, With Love by Beth Moore is just too good not to share.  This is a Christian perspective, but I think any writer would take away something from it. 

Do you know Spaghetti Eddie?  My kids LOVE Spaghetti Eddie.  They're running a KickStarter campaign to bring this music to a different level.  Check it out. 

Love these Decorating Ideas for a 3-Year-Old Girl's Room.  (Who doesn't love a good before & after?) (Tiny Oranges)

How useful is THIS: 101 Holiday Gift Ideas for Boys.  (Mom Generations)

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We've changed our weekend plans at the last minute.  We're opting for something a little quieter.  Quiet is good. 

Happy weekend, HH readers!

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santa & me at americana at brand - YOU'RE invited!

I'm so excited to be hosting a little Santa & Me party for moms and their little ones at Americana at Brand. 

Please join me on Thursday, November 29 at 10am with your little one for a private Santa party.  Snacks and goodies will be in abundance.  I hope to see you there!

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If you're interested in attending my events, please fill out my Hollywood Housewife party form.  Not a mom?  Doesn't matter! Not a blogger?  Doesn't matter!  Not in LA?  Doesn't matter!

I throw fashion & beauty parties, brand events, and just plain meet ups.  In 2013, I'm hoping to host a few things in Oklahoma, Texas, and who knows where else!  I'd love to have you on my party list.  Spread the word!