I don't own a single little black dress because little black dresses are boring. I would not ever voluntarily pull out a boring black dress to wear to something special, even if I could bling it up. But if life's a dance we learn as we go, we gotta have something appropriate to wear at all times.
Tuesday morning we were both on our way to the same business meeting, in different cars, The Gorilla called me to say we'd been invited to a schmancy Hollywood event on Thursday celebrating his movie's nomination for an Academy Award. Just 2 days away and I had a packed full schedule for the week. Panic ensued. Screeching and hair pulling happened in my car. I texted friends. I downloaded the Rent the Runway app. I mentally catalogued my closet.
All this culminated in a makeup-free fashion show in the hall before pilates. Later, unable to sleep, I got up after midnight and tried on two other things. If only this could be the worst of life's problems, right?
Wednesday morning I posted three options to the HH facebook page. You guys came out like a force! I was so impressed! I left for the mall (with time I didn't really have) armed with some of your words. I was looking for a long-shot perfect dress. Or a lacy/blingy camisole for under the suit.
I tried on a couple of dresses that were kind of cute but just not right. I ended up with something I hadn't even been looking for and probably wasn't even an option.
I got home and tried it all on again. Then I tallied all the facebook comments. At 5pm on Wednesday evening, the results were:
#1 turquoise dress - 102
#2 vintage brown dress - 60
#3 black suit - 49
I tried on the turquoise dress again - the far and above reader favorite - this time with spanx and lipstick. It worked better. I didn't feel quite as self-conscious as I thought. But it just didn't sing to me. And I decided, when one's husband has a movie up for an Oscar, you gotta belt out that song.
On Thursday morning I drove back to Beverly Hills. This time with a friend. I found something I loved. White and black leather. That made me feel pretty and current and (can you believe it?!) comfortable.
So what have we learned here? We've learned that one should always have at least one nice thing in their closet that makes them feel amazing. Something that be dressed up or down or somber or bling-y. That's usually a little black dress. Today it had a little leather in it.
Questions I got from friends during this non-problem:
Aren't you a Hollywood Housewife? Don't clothes and shoes show up at your door via a personal stylist?
Nope. That's not my real world. Had this been a true fashion emergency (meaning the scope of the event was huge or that I was incapacitated in some way), then yes I could have called someone to help me. But a good stylist is far from free and the one I work with sometimes (who is also a friend) has a busy career. I do not expect her to drop her schedule to accommodate me. Bethany was kind enough to look at my frantically texted pictures and advise me as a friend. Because she's awesome.
I know factually that there are women in LA who would have called a stylist immediately and they would have shown up with a rack of clothes. But the actual real life Hollywood wives that I know don't do that on any kind of a regular basis. That's what stores are for.
Speaking of stores...
I was shocked to hear you say you were headed to a mall! This does not feel like mall appropriate attire.
This made me laugh. I'm a department store girl, and to be clear: I went to Neiman Marcus.
But why would you put your outfits on facebook for people to vote?! Everyone said something completely different and it seems more confusing than it was helpful!
You know the additional lesson we all learned here? We've learned crowd sourcing CAN be helpful. When I posted the picture of the three outfit options, I didn't like any of them and felt stuck. You guys made me reconsider the black suit (and how I could style it) and were so nice about the turquoise. When I tried it on again, I heard your positive comments in my head and it really helped. Both of those outfits were filed away as something to wear in the future. Thank you for keeping it truthful and positive.
Updated to add another question that keeps rolling in: Why aren't you going to the Oscars if your husband's movie is nominated?
The movie is the most unlikely of franchises to end up at the Academy Awards. But this year it's up for Best Makeup (which is entirely deserved). Attending will be the makeup artist and the star of the movie. The Gorilla was the director and producer. I so wish we were going, but I guess they don't just hand those tickets hand. Maybe another year!
Guess what happened today? In the car with Shauna on the way home from Neimans, The Gorilla called to tell me we'd been invited to a post-Oscars celebration party Sunday night. And I'm going out of town Friday & Saturday.
See why you gotta have several basics in the closet?
Pssst...Don't forget to watch the Oscars this Sunday. I'll be tweeting it from my couch and extra special cheering for the makeup category.