hollywood housewife

{brag book} 2012 resolutions: start where you are

We're one week into 2012, so we should be refining and enforcing our goals for the year.  *Should* is the operative word.  Some of us haven't even started yet.  It's a good thing my 2012 mantra is Start Where You Are.

Here's just a few of the things on my list for 2012:

1. Read 30 Books.  I read 22 books in 2011, which is actually more than I thought, since throughout the year I kept feeling like I wasn't reading enough.  Now, I read a lot of stuff.  I love magazines and blogs and long form journalism, so even if I'm not reading a book, I'm in the middle of something else.  But my book list continues to grow (this will always be so) and I continue to love it, so I want to make a concerted effort to read more.  I think I can squeeze eight more in than I did last year.

2. Learn Something New.  I am a huge creature of habit and it takes a lot for me to start at complete zero with something and master it.  But I want to challenge myself more, both for the knowledge benefit and to stretch my brain.  I'm not entirely sure what this will be yet.  It can't be too tiny, but it has to be something managable.  I'm learning towards learning Photoshop.

3. Improve my Posture.  This couldn't be any more random, but the terrible posture I've had since I was a kid is now haunting me in my advancing age.  I know that it affects the way I hold tension in my back and shoulders, which in turn makes me sore and grumpy.  I recently signed up for a few yoga classes (which could also apply to resolution #2), as I know that it could help.  

4. Actively Educate Myself on the Bible.  I did not grow up in church.  I didn't join or even really participate in church activities until I was in middle school.  This means that I missed out on all the Sunday School Bible stories.  I get them all mixed up, almost comically.  A good friend has suggested that I use a children's Bible, and I'm all over that. 

So there you have it, four goals that I want to work towards in this new year.  I have more specific ideas for this blog and my personal life, but I like to work through those in smaller bites.  In increments, if you will.  I approached these goals for the overall year in a different way.  I like how they sort of overlap in a way and how they all already fit into where my life is going, or where I want it to go.  There's nothing here that in mid-March I can feel deflated over.

Now I want to hear from you!  If you've written a post recently about your goals for 2012, I'd love it if you'd link up below so we can all read them and cheer along.  If you don't blog, feel free to list in the comments what you want out of 2012.  I hope to check back in on things in a few months.

Brag Book 2012 Resolutions Link Up!

2011 year in review

I love a look back.  I get nostalgic.  You can read the 2010 review here.

 

In many ways, 2011 has been a very, very long year.  It was peppered with beautiful moments, to be sure, but I feel like I've been hunkered down in survival mode for most of it.  Figuratively head down, avoiding eye contact, holding my breath. 

I have high hopes for 2012.  I have distinctive goals and an overall vision and can't remember the last time I felt this motivated to move forward.  But before we close the door on 2011, a look back:

books make great gifts, plus a few bonuses

Stuck on what to get someone and increasingly panicked as the Christmas clock winds down?

Books are always a good gift.  And the bonus is that you can always find them at a bookstore!  No rushing around from this place or that to see if they have it.  Bookstores have books!  And all of my choices here are mainstream and should be found where you buy your printed word.

My picks for gifts:

For the father-in-law, history lover: Unbroken by Lauren Hillenbrand.  This book is well written and is a fascinating look into a specific side of World War II.  Read what I originally said about here.

For the college-age niece, or the frazzled friend you only see these days at school pickup: The Happiness Project.  It's interesting, with a cute cover, and you don't have to be a big reader to appreciate the nuggets of wisdom here.  Read what I originally said about it here.

things i can't live without during the newborn phase

Welcome to Mommy Mondays, the one day of the week when I drone on about parenthood.

It's a fact that around six to eight weeks post-birth, the momma starts to feel like she's "starting to come out of the fog."  Then, around four to six months, she realizes that no, now she's really coming out of the fog.  Finally, between nine and twelve months post-delivery, the momma thinks to herself, "Good gracious, where have I been the past year?  Welcome back, me!"

At least that's how I've experienced it.  It's all about hormones.  And consistent hours of sleep.

So, speaking from the first baby steps of new momma-ness, here are a few things I couldn't have done without since October:

Donut Shop coffee for the Keurig

The only two times I've ever had coffee consistently was when I had newborns.  Even in my most collegiate journaling-in-coffee-shop days, I never liked the bitter taste of java.  I've always had to disguise it with chocolate or tons of cream and sugar.  Everything that makes pure coffee snobs wrinkle their noses. 

My husband is obsessed with the Keurig, and the Donut Shop flavor came in a variety pack.  I tried it, I liked it, it is now getting me through the mornings after the sleepless nights. 

The Total Baby App

Rachel told me about this app for the iPhone that takes all the guesswork out of the bleary-eyed twenty-four hour schedule of a newborn.  It takes just a couple of seconds to click in when the baby last ate, slept, diapered, bathed.  Since I can rarely - even on the best of days - remember which side I nursed last, this has been really helpful to me.  It also keeps a cumulative record of how much the baby is eating and sleeping throughout, so I can tell the pediatrician. 

Total Baby has been my memory for the past seven weeks.

Speaking of nursing, I don't leave the house without my Lily Padz.  Well, okay, I have left the house without them and decided never to do that again.  But that's another story for another day, were I ever to get up the courage to tell it. 

The Lily Padz are way more comfortable than the disposable kind, which itched and drove me crazy.  They clean up easily and I don't even notice they're there. 

I wear them under my favorite soft nursing bra and in conjunction with my favorite non-sticky nipple cream. 

(I am trying so hard not to cringe under the table right now.  But if this is helpful for even one person, it's worth my extreme embarrassment.  You can read more about my thoughts on breastfeeding here.)

Moving on to safer topics, I am completely obsessed with the aden + anais bamboo collection.  All of the aden + anais blankets are great, but the bamboo ones are the softest and easily my favorites.  We have four or five that float around the house for various needs.

We're also pretty partial to the First Favorites line from Gap.  They're soft, the buttons aren't hard to deal with (although I do prefer a zipper), and there's always a sale on Gap online.   

So far, so good.  We'll see if my favorite product picks with my daughter (listed here and here) hold up with my son.  You can see a list of my favorite baby products by clicking here. 

Anything you think I'm missing or need to check out?

Some affiliate links included.  This does not affect my opinion in any way. 

packing for the hospital

Welcome to Mommy Mondays, my designated day to talk about all things mommy.  If you're new here, you should know that I'm minutes away from delivering my second child.

The countdown is here.  Our bags are packed and waiting by the door.

Now, my personal belief is that packing for the hospital is a little bit futile.  With Pigtail's delivery, I barely opened my bag for the entire four days of my stay.  But I'm going through the motions yet again, and afterwards I'll let you know how much of it is actually used.

1. Chargers for two different cameras, and the charger for my phone and iPad.

2. Point-and-shoot camera (to be used in addition to the DSLR used to snap the above photo, and my camera phone.  We are nothing if not prepared in the camera department).

3. Deodorant (for obvious reasons) and various ponytail holders, bobby pins, etc.

4. Dry shampoo.  Just in case.

5. Wipes.  MAC wipes for me, baby wipes for baby.

6. General toiletries.

7. Two outfits and a soft blanket for baby.  TIP: the best first outfits for a newborn are zip up and not over-the-head.  They're so tiny and fragile, it's not fun to pull and tug outfits over their head in the beginning, especially for your first child.

8. My own pillow and pillowcase.  Because I'm particular about that sort of thing.  And also because anything that smells familiar or brings you comfort when you're staying in the hospital is a good thing.

9. A pair of cute pajamas.  Is this laughable?  I remember distinctly staying in the hospital gown.

10. Soft shirts and two coming home outfits for myself.

11. Socks.  'Cause my swollen feet will surely get cold.

12. iPad.  For my internet addiction.  It also holds my music and books.

13. Journal.  Don't want to miss a thing.

NOT PICTURED: Underwear and nursing bras.  Feminine hygiene products (since what the hospital provides is a little...industrial).  Whatever I normally carry in my purse: wallet, phone, etc. Laptop (because I haven't decided if I'm going to take it or not).

Help my scattered brain - am I missing something obvious?  Should we take bets on how many of these items will ever leave the bag?   

life in increments - three tips

Once I stopped working in a structured environment and then had my first child, the lack of discipline in my life wreaked havoc on my productivity and mental state.  I tweaked a few things and started living my Life In Increments.  You can read more about it here.

Since currently our lives don't yet revolve around a school schedule, I can't blame that for our lazy days of summer.  We've been very unstructured for the last several months and it's starting to catch up with me.  I'm entering a heavy nesting period, but before I tackle the lists of things to be done before Baby Boys arrival I've been relying on three simple steps that keep me from going completely crazy even amidst summer chaos:

1.  Finish the task.  Pregnancy makes me a complete airhead, but I can be a little scatterbrained even when I'm not hormonal.  My mantra has become Finish The Whole Task At Hand.  I don't tend to walk away from a half-emptied dishwasher, but I have been known to make a bowl of cereal and then leave the milk out on the counter for....forever.  If I make myself finish every step of the task at hand - put away the milk, throw away the empty cereal box, then wash the dish and spoon after eating - then it leaves less clutter in my life and less to do later.  Which equals more mindspace.  I force myself to finish every step of a task instead of leaving the last little bit for later.  It make take two extra minutes, but it is always worth it.

2.  Do It Now.  I like to make To Do lists and random things pop into my head all the time, but many of them can and should be done right when I think of them.  If walking past the windows reminds me that I need to call the pool heater guy, instead of doodling it down in my moleskine planner, I really should just pick up the phone and do it right then.  Ta Da!  Done.  One less thing in my brain.  Of course sometimes you're in the shower when you think of these things, or out and about and it's something that has to be done at home.  But when able, I channel Nike and Just Do It.

3.  Never Leave a Room Empty-Handed.  In my house, there is always something that is in one place that really belongs in another.  An empty cup to be taken to the kitchen, a wayward sweater that needs to go in the closet.  This one comes and goes, but lately I've been more aware about the transfer of all of life's stuff from one place to another.  Taking a few things in my hand whenever I go up or downstairs makes an enormous difference in the amount of general clutter.  

One last thought that has helped me this summer:

Identify Small Happiness Makers.  If you can identify just a couple of things that take under five minutes yet make your day substantially better, and then follow through on just those, it makes any day feel less like a mess.  These things could be making the bed, taking the extra few minutes to straighten you hair, washing your face at night, having a clean car, keeping a small stash of candy, whatever.  So many times just the littlest tweak can make the difference in your attitude. 

Have you tried the Life In Increments philosophy?  What are your current mantras or happiness makers?  Sound off in the comments! 

my favorite toddler products

Welcome to Mommy Mondays, where I dissect the minutia of parenting.  One day a week only, folks!  Step right up.

Pigtail is 21 months today, so we've fully transitioned from baby stuff to toddler stuff.  (We're also eagerly awaiting the day we can stop keeping track of her age in months.)  Here are a few of our favorites:

my wedding: ten things i did absolutely right

Even though I got married in September, summer still reminds me of blushing brides.  Last week I explained ten of the things I would change if I had to do it all over again, and your tips in the comments were so useful to those recently engaged.  Today I want to gloat about ten of the things that I knocked out of the park on my Big Day.  Originally posted in 2008. 

This list is just as important as my list of mistakes, because the things that you do right are ultimately what make it the day of your dreams. Assuming you’ve chosen the right groom and all that. If you can’t make it that far by yourself, this list probably won’t help you much. What follows are ten things I pat myself on the back over:

1. Hiring a coordinator. When we chose to have our wedding 3,000 miles away from our home, I knew that I would need a local coordinator. I went in to that search thinking I needed a full-service, Jennifer-Lopez-in-The-Wedding-Planner type of gal, but I underestimated my control issues. Very quickly I realized that I didn’t need someone to help me pick the flowers or tie little ribbons on the programs. I needed someone to show me interesting venue options and have relationships with both the good and bad vendors in town. And I really needed someone to handle the logistics of 200 rowdy out-of-towners.

Several of the coordinators I interviewed charged a percentage of the wedding budget, which left me aghast. The coordinator I finally went with was highly recommended and had been planning weddings in Savannah for decades. She charged a flat fee for her services on the wedding weekend and a reasonable hourly fee for anything I needed beyond that. It was a perfect arrangement for me. She pointed me to all of my essential vendors, including our fabulous caterer, and suggested our reception site during our first phone call.

But the absolute most important thing she did was run my wedding weekend like a general in the army. She kept everyone on time and on their best behavior. I literally had nothing to worry about once Tricia took the reins.

I understand that a wedding coordinator is not a luxury everyone can afford. But I think that any bride should strongly consider having someone fill this role, even if it is just an assertive friend or cousin. It shouldn’t be the bride’s mother, and it certainly shouldn’t be the bride. They should be enjoying their day, not worried about whether or not the cake has arrived or not! A big part of my calm state of mind on my wedding day can be attributed to my wedding coordinator.

2. Preparing Myself for the Worst: Having Healthy Expectations. Let’s face it, there is so much pressure on having the “perfect” wedding. You’re (hopefully) only going to get one shot at this fairy tale, and you can drive yourself crazy with worry over it. My husband recognized that I have a tendency to become, shall we say, derailed by surprises. So as soon as the wedding magazines started piling up, The Gorilla began to chip away at my great big wedding balloon. He was constantly telling me that I needed to prepare myself for the fact that something was probably going to go wrong. And when it happened, I just couldn’t fall apart.

We spoke over and over about how we would be setting the tone for this big party, so the only tears needed to be happy ones. So when a few unexpected bumps appeared in the road, such as running a bit late with the makeup artist and then my cake not looking as expected, I was truly able to shrug my shoulders and remember what was important about the day. I would like to think the little things rolled off my back because I was so full of joy and love – and I was – but I also know that mentally preparing myself for the inevitable played a large roll in my zen attitude.

my wedding: ten things I would do differently

The Gorilla and I swapped those sacred vows on a beautiful September day, but June is traditionally THE wedding month so I thought I would revisit our Savannah wedding weekend with a few years of perspective.  I originally wrote this post about a year after the Big Day, but the sentiments are the same.  The day I married The Gorilla was the best day of my life.

Even though I no longer have my tivo set for Platinum Weddings or Bridezillas, I can still talk about weddings for hours.  The things I loved about my own or others, the things I should have done differently, the things one should always think about, the surprises, the memories, the priorities.  I will probably be one of those wives who forces my husband to have vow renewal ceremonies every once in a while, just so I can throw a fun party again. 

Not that a wedding is only about a fun party.  Your vows should be the most sacred words you ever express to another, the commitment taken seriously.  But I’ll tell you I wasn’t lying in bed night after night pondering my love for The Gorilla.  No, my mind swirled with table arrangements and rehearsal dinner outfits and the bow versus no bow conflict.  All the important things. 

So while my wedding was truly the day of my dreams, there are a few things I would tweak if I could do it all over again.  Our wedding was large and was a destination affair, so there was plenty of room for mistakes.  Here are ten of the things I did wrong, and how I would do it differently:

why don't parents send their kids to summer camp anymore?

I spent ten of my childhood summers at sleepaway camp in Missouri.  I started when I was eight, and the term was four weeks long.  The only parental contact was through letters, and this one month a year on my "own" was as influential on my life as anything else I could name. 

When I tell people that I went away for such a lengthy period of time at such a young age, they are usually aghast.  They can't believe my parents would do that, they can't believe that I loved it, they simply cannot imagine sending their own children away like that.  (As if it were punishment instead the best time of my life and, let's face it, probably a great break for my parents.) 

Most of the kids I knew went to some kind of summer camp, ranging from week-long church camps to five and six week-long athletic camps.  This doesn't seem to be the norm anymore, especially the longer terms.

From the many conversations I've had with people on this subject, I think there are three main factors that parents don't do this anymore:

Cost is the most obvious and current factor.  With a slumping economy, luxuries like camps and vacations are among the first to go.  And sleepaway camps are not cheap and are certainly not getting cheaper.  If families do have money set aside for summer fun, they'll probably opt for something less singular than summer camp.  This is understandable.

Athletic programs.  As sports leagues become more and more competitive (read: crazy), kids are expected to spend their summers training or practicing or attending required camps for their particular sport.  This trend is becoming more and more prevalent and I've known more than one family that has had to rearrange their vacations or other schedules to accomodate a sports team.  This, to me, is outrageous.  But also a reality.

Parenting has changed.  I assure you that my parents felt no guilt when they put me on a bus each year bound for the Ozarks.  In fact, I know they saw it as an investment in my life.  These days, you're not considered an "involved parent" unless you know your childs every move and are on the committee for every structured activity.  Among the things said to me regarding summer camp are, "I could never be away from them that long" or "My child wouldn't do well, he needs me."  But summer camp taught me things that I never, ever would have learned at home.  Keeping a clean bunk, accountablility as part of a cabin or team, not to mention the mental and physical hurdles I crossed when faced alone with a water slide, a zipline, or a barn swing, made an enormous difference in how I approached my school year and the rest of the world around me.  These are things that I could not have learned in my own home in the same way.

My nieces now go to the same summer camp where my siblings and I share memories.  My camp, once thriving with long wait lists, has now consolidated to two terms instead of three and cut back in other ways to make up for the waning applications.  Even so, I have seen this new generation affected in the same way I was each summer, and I email friends that I've known from our years of sunburns and ponytails and I tell them that the chain has continued. 

I just hope that it's not a tradition that dies away completely. 

photo by Leshaines123