hollywood housewife

answering your questions from the hospitality episode of the sorta awesome podcast

I co-host a podcast called Sorta Awesome. The host/creator/mama of Sorta Awesome is Megan Tietz and I am one of three other rotating co-hosts. It's a new venture and very fun. If you're new to podcast listening, click here.

Last week's episode of Sorta Awesome set a record for our new little podcast, with thousands of downloads in the first 48 hours of the show going live. I guess hospitality and entertaining is something y'all are interested in! Good to know, because it's something I like to talk about.

The Sorta Awesome hangout group on Facebook has become a great community of nearly 500 women who use topics for the show as springboards for conversation. There are some really interesting threads in the group, and I can see friendships sprouting all over the place. The listeners have branched off on their own and started Sorta Awesome voxer group chats and a reading discussion group on Goodreads. Several people from the hangout group asked specific questions about the hospitality episode, and thought I would answer them here.

On the episode, I give my 5 most important tips for hosting, and these apply to everything from casual gatherings to the most formal of parties. We also talked about hostessing influences and entertaining disasters I've survived over the years. So we cover lots of territory on the podcast, but it seems like most of the questions have more to do with logistics. And to that I say it's all about the attitude:

 

What do you do with the kids while hosting? I have always loved having people in my home, but now with two littles, it's a real challenge.

I totally get this. My children are 5 & 3, so it's not like I can send them upstairs to fend for themselves during a party. (I mean, I guess I could. But it wouldn't end well.) I've tried all kinds of different things for the kiddos, it really depends on the type of party.

For more formal parties, I get a babysitter. For girls-only gatherings, my husband is on duty, expecting absolutely zero help from me. (If it's a daytime event, like book club, he'll take them to the park or something. I'm most relaxed about it when they're not even in the house, because you know how it is as a mom. If I hear a crash upstairs or something, I'm just distracted.) For casual get-togethers, it's just sort of all hands on deck. It's a bonus if the guests have kids of their own, then we can turn on a movie or something. At the lake we've definitely employed the older kids (older tweens or teenagers) to keep them all corralled and safe. Then we'll throw them a little cash or a treat as an incentive.

I loved this idea from Melissa in the hangout group:

My kids are ecstatic when we are entertaining, because they know there will be other kids to play with. Like, see ya later mom, we are with our friends. There is usually such a variety of ages that the little ones are doted upon. My youngest is 4 and the older 2 are 8 and 10. They know that will be a shared responsibility for all of us to watch out for little guy. I actually saw an awesome idea that was meant for pool-time but works anytime. We have a plastic bracelet that we pass (anything could be used) and whoever is wearing it just needs to keep an eye on the 4 year old.

The kids thing can be a definite challenge, but don't let it be a barrier. Do what you can handle, and know that your entertaining days will look different in this season than in the next.

Question in regards to entertaining as an introvert. I also enjoy entertaining/being a hostess - I am the workhorse, but when the event is over I am physically and mentally drained. Does this happen to you?

I am answering this question in my pajamas at 10:30am and just told my husband that my plan for the day was not to get out of them. So, YES, I become very drained after hosting, to put it mildly.

As an introvert, it always takes me a couple of days to recover from hosting a party or houseguests. Not just from the actual event (where even being a guest would drain me), but also from the work of it. But since I know that in advance, I just build it in. Our family doesn't plan anything strenuous in the day or two after hosting. If the gathering is casual, I just make every effort to be aware of my energy and plan around it. Meaning maybe we have friends over to swim and eat on Saturday, but then Sunday we purposefully don't do anything.

The bottom line is that you have to take care of yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you. My husband doesn't fully understand my need for tons of space after entertaining, but he respects it and accommodates me. I learned pretty quickly that *I* have to be the one to set the boundary. And hosting friends and celebrating occasions is always worth it to me.

Then why host so much if it exhausts you? On the topic of self-care, this is the question I find myself asking when an opportunity comes to host. Why should I do this if I'm exhausted for 2 days after! Yes it is fun...but 2 days to recover! I guess it's like coming home from a vacation. Sometimes need a vacation from your vacation.

(I always need a vacation after the vacation.)

The pros outweigh the cons for me. I like your example of family vacation: there's a lot of cost involved, including your energy and time off from work, not to mention any financial sacrifice. But it's usually worth it, right? The memories, the experience, even the accomplishment of it. The Gorilla and I were high-fiving all day yesterday that we'd survived (even thrived!) with 3 weeks of houseguests.

This isn't true for all introverts, and it's important to note that people shouldn't push themselves towards entertaining if they don't want to. I do it because I LIKE it.

Okay, because we're already there, I'll go ahead and give away the first tip of my 5 Tips for Hosting:

Just Do It.

If you're inclined. If the thought excites you. If no one else in your friend group is willing to step up. Just throw a party! I think you'll be glad you did.

grilling tips for beginners

A few summers ago, I got really into grilling. When we're at our lake house, we're regularly feeding between 15 - 25 people each meal, and I was running out of recipes that one can easily make for such a crowd. When we did make burgers or chicken, I had to rely on someone else to man the grill. Why? Because I was scared of it. I had in my head it was a male job (which is ridiculous) and was convinced that I would burn anything I tried.

When I finally starting grilling out of necessity, I found that it is WAY easier (and often better tasting) that cooking on a stove. It's not nearly as precise as one might believe, the margin of error is huge. The big secret about grilling is that it's NOT THAT HARD. Most of the time, I feel like a fraud even taking credit for how good something tastes off the grill.

So if you're a newbie to outdoor grilling, or if you're intimidated, here's my advice: TRY IT. I promise you will surprise yourself with your ability to whip up a good meal for a bunch of people in a short amount of time. If you're truly a newbie, start with burgers. The meat is cheap and they're hard to mess up.

Even though I've become pretty comfortable with our propane gas grill (and our Big Green Egg, but that's a whole different post), I checked in with my grillmaster friend Kyle, known for his delicious burgers. Here are his tips for starting out (and with a bit of my commentary, because I couldn't resist):

1) Allow your grill to get nice and hot. A not-hot grill will just slow cook the burgers and make for a very dry patty. Aim for 400-450 degrees at a minimum but the preference on our grill (a Weber gas/propane grill) is 550-600 degree range.

2) Shape your burger patties so the outer edges are thicker than the center. The edge will cook faster, so if the edge is thicker, it allows for a more evenly cooked patty.

3) Don't press down on the meat while it's cooking! This makes for dry burgers. Once you get to know your grill, you'll know how long you need to cook each side so you can - ideally - only flip them once while grilling.

(Laura's note: Eventually you might get the hang of eye-balling it, but don't be afraid to use a timer when you're starting out. I still use a timer, because I can get easily distracted and forget to watch! Depending on how thick your meat is, and the temperature of your grill, you'll probably cook a burger between 2 minutes to 5 minutes on each side. On a pretty hot grill, with medium-thick patties, I usually do 3 minutes on each side. Remember that they'll continue cooking internally even after you pull them off. So if you're aiming for a pink center, take them up a little bit before they're cooked how you like them.)

4) Add in flavor before grilling. Kyle's go-to recipe is a combination of BBQ sauce (as Okies, we use Head Country OF COURSE) and grape jelly. The ratio varies, but he said about 1 T of each of those per 1/3 lb patty. So 6 T each for 2 lbs of ground beef.

(Laura's note: My go-to add-ins are heavy cream - just a little bit - and Worcestershire sauce. I use Lawry's for seasoning, but a little less that usual since the Worcestershire is so salty. The heavy cream binds it all together and makes for a really rich flavor.

Make up your patties right away, but let them sit covered and refrigerated for a little bit so the flavor really soaks in.)

5. Experiment! We have thrown in bacon pieces, diced pinapple, jalepeno, Italian seasoning and other seasoning salts, soy sauce, even bourbon! Try a blend of ground beef and another ground meat. When we lived in Texas, we could request ground brisket from the meat counter at the grocery store, and we would make 50/50 patties of ground beef and ground brisket.

(Laura's note: With burgers in particular, experiment with temperature and cooking times. Unless you just char them beyond recognition, ground beef is kind of hard to mess up. Try all different thicknesses and combinations, noting that the patties shrink pretty significantly when they're cooked.

If you're making cheeseburgers, you'll find that different cheeses take longer to melt. Good ole American or cheddar will melt quickly, so I put this on 30 seconds to 1 minute before I pull the burgers up. Bleu cheese - my personal favorite - takes longer usually, so I put that on right after I flip them.)

After you feel like you've mastered (or at least feel comfortable with) burgers, move on to making other easy meats and veggies on the grill. Steaks aren't so different from ground beef in terms of how they cook, but always cook chicken a bit longer since you need to make sure it's absolutely cooked through the middle.

We also love to throw on corn on the cob (buttered first, with just salt & pepper, sometimes a dash of cayenne), portobello mushrooms, all kinds of things.

Kyle's non-burger tip is to sear meat on the grill, then finish in the oven. Do a big tray of chicken drumsticks or some pork country ribs this way. Sear on a hot grill, then put in an oven safe baking dish, add a little liquid (water, beer, etc), and cook on 175 for several hours until meat is cooked through. Delicious!

There's so much on Pinterest or YouTube that will help you with grilling. Whenever I get stuck or need inspiration, I google it. Once I got over being scared of the grill, it opened a whole new world of easy and delicious cooking.

I hope this helps and inspires you to do the same! If you have any grilling tips or secrets, I'd love to hear 'em.

 

 

*photo and photo

jesus feminist book release party in hollywood

Last week my friend JJ the Blah Blah Blahger and I threw a party for our dear friend Sarah Bessey and her important new book Jesus Feminist. It was a rainy Thursday night in Hollywood, and I was worried that the weather and the traffic would keep people home. I shouldn't have worried. People showed up in droves, over eighty people all told. My favorite little cafe Coffee & Food was filled to the brim.

 

grilled lamb chops

I know August isn't quite over yet, but I've missed you like crazy. My August blogging break has been very good for me, and I'm full of direction and inspiration for the blog (and my life) to finish out the year. I couldn't resist posting this quickie dish in case you were (like me) floudering around a bit on what to serve over the long weekend.

In August, I took my time. We moved slower, had less on the agenda. Our weekends took on a particular rhythm. We had friends over almost every Saturday and we would swim and eat, and even though I was technically hosting people, it didn't feel like it. There was no rush, nowhere we were coming from or had to be later.

Plus I discovered the grill. In all my 34 years, I've never used an outdoor grill. I've prepped food for the grill. I've pulled food off of a grill when someone else told me it was ready. But, truth be told, I was intimidated by the open flame. (Let's not look too deeply into this, okay?) There was always some big, strong male around willing to man the grill. And I always let him. Then one day I decided I really, really wanted "burgers with lines" (grill lines, people!) and so I braved the Weber.

I will never again not grill. The grill has changed my summer cooking. I have been grilling like some sort of a maniac. I grill everything. I feel like a genius. No matter that it is so easy, it's practically cheating. I am giddy about the grill as if I invented the method.

birthday luau at the lake

(I promise this is the last time you'll hear about my birthday. Until next year.)

Occasionally, The Gorilla and I go big on birthdays. We don't exchange Christmas presents, Valentines and anniversaries are not usually celebrated with presents at our house, so birthdays are when we really shower affection on the individual. Not every year, but often. There have been some pretty epic summer parties. Including last weekend.

garlic naan with salt & olive oil

I realize this is the equivalent of me showing you how to make toast, but roll with it.

My friend served this at book club and I lost track of all conversation. I think I said something along the lines of, "I only want to sit and eat this bread for the rest of all time."

And some days it feels like I've done just that, since I've made this many (many) times since then.

garlic green beans and roasted broccoli (for people who hate to eat green)

I'm a picky eater and I'm a meat-and-potatoes eater. I live for pot roast and steak and pulled pork and my momma's prime rib. But I can't eat like that all the time, for every dinner for the rest of my life. Ask me how I know.

So a few years ago I decided to learn to cook. I was in my late twenties. I have a particular palate and an intimidating example to follow. I mastered some of my favorite comfort foods, but I really needed some weekday staples. I waded into fish (I have a killer salmon recipe for people who don't usually like it), I experimented with a few foreign foods.

But vegetables are my nemesis. And since I don't really like to eat them, I'm not gung ho to cook them. But one must eat vegetables, sayeth the world!

So, grudgingly, I've found a few that I not only like, I crave. They're simple.

super sliders

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I've been going through a heavy hamburger phase. I have no idea why. I like hamburgers, but for the last several months I just keep making them on the griddle over and over and over.

easy sour cream and chicken enchiladas, modified from the pioneer woman

Imagine my surprise when I moved to LA and went to Mexican restaurant and it was authentic.  In Oklahoma, a primary food group is Tex Mex.  Texas Mexican.  Full of queso and chili sauces.  It is not, as I understand it, what they actually eat in Mexico. 

For a couple of years now, I’ve fed my homesick heart with The Pioneer Woman’s Sour Cream Enchiladas, usually adding chicken.  They are delicious!  But I am lazy in the kitchen, and all that frying made a huge mess.  My mom and I figured out a modified version that is easy enough for any weeknight:

easy fancy crab dip

Crab dip has become a staple in my entertaining repertoire.  My mom and I worked on multiple variations until we got it right.  I change it up a little bit each time, but I've never had a batch go wrong if I followed the basics: