hollywood housewife

date discussions

Sometimes Mommy Mondays become Marriage Mondays.  I like to break the rules like that.

This week on Instagram I posted a picture of our date night sushi.  My friend Bethany asked, "What did you guys talk about?  I'm always curious what other couples talk about on their date nights."

And I thought this was such an interesting question and something I wonder about with other couples, too. 

The Gorilla and I never lack for something to talk about.  We have an easy silence and a comfortable conversation style, and it has always been that way.  But when we have to discuss difficult things, it's harder for The Gorilla to articulate his thoughts.  While I've never had any problem putting my every emotion into words, my sweet husband is more of the strong, silent type.  Over the years we've had to learn to argue effectively, and express affection verbally in a way that works for both of us.  Our communcation skills are light years away from where they were eight years ago, but I guess that's something you never stop working on.

On our date Friday night, we talked about our favorite trips we've ever taken together, and we talked about friendships.  Both of these are topics we come back to again and again.  It's bonding for us to reminisce and analyze and wonder about the future.  Sometimes we tell each other stories about our lives before we shared one.  In many ways it feels like The Gorilla lived a whole lifetime before he met me, and I like to hear about it.  And he's very patient with my endless analysis of relationships and how they shift and change over time.  We try not to talk too much about work or the kids, the things that we discuss daily.   

My favorite date night lately has been getting a massage, then getting a good meal afterwards.  We wear our spa clothes to eat, no makeup and sweat pants, and it's nice to be so relaxed and physically comfortable on date night.  Not that getting dressed up isn't fun, too, but our best times together seem to be when we aren't forcing it.  The Gorilla would probably say his favorite date night is going to a Lakers game.  We eat nachos and garlic-y french fries and Staples Center is great for people watching.  Plus the game, of course.  

With two little ones, we can't be spontaneous about date nights anymore.  They require some planning ahead, and generally dinner reservations.  It would be too much pressure to expect every date night to be the best night ever, but it's always worth the effort.  It seems impossible that you could ever feel disconnected from someone you see every day, but a busy schedule and distracted minds means that sometimes we have to remember to reconnect.  

What's your favorite date night?  And what do you talk about? 

sleeping arrangements

Welcome to Mommy Mondays, where parenting is the most important thing you'll ever do. And also not a big deal.

Pirate is three months old and at night he sleeps swaddled in a co-sleeper bassinet about two feet from my face.  I like it this way.  I like to hear him breathe.  I like that big sigh babies make when they're drifting off into a deeper sleep.  I like rolling over in the morning and seeing his sweet little eyes blinking back at me.  He doesn't cry when he wakes, so I never know how long he's been staring at the bed or the ceiling, waiting for one of us to look at him.

I feel like I could comfortably sleep with my baby within arms reach until the end of time.  The Gorilla, however, is ready to move him on down the all.  Federal Express, no signature needed.  I understand his point, especially now that Pirate is sleeping through the night, from about 11pm to 8am.  The reasoning for keeping him in the room with us at all was to make night feedings more convenient.  And now there are no more night feedings.  But I'm not ready.

We moved Pigtail to the big crib when she was even younger than Pirate is now.  She wasn't even sleeping through the night yet, and I was definitely happy to reclaim our adult space.  But with Pirate, I know it just may be the last time that there is a sleeping baby's breath so close to me in the wee hours.  Maybe not, but maybe.  Probably. 

There are so many things that are precious and monumental about your first child, things that might get lost with the second one.  Unless the second one is also your last.  And then a whole different set of things seem precious and monumental. 

Pigtail has taken to her big girl bed in her big girl room like a champ.  So now, there truly is no reason for Pirate not to follow her down the hall.  Except for my wimpy heart.  I know it's got to happen soon.  But I plan to keep begging The Gorilla for just a few more days...

the gorilla as a guest on his own show

The Gorilla has a show currently airing on MTV, did you know?  There's a different guest on the couch every week, and on one of the upcoming episodes it's The Gorilla himself.  I tagged along because I enjoy it when my husband is one on the other side of the camera.  (He does not enjoy it.  Which adds to my enjoyment.  In a good-natured way.)

First he had to go into hair and makeup. 

The makeup chair for especially non-fussy men is not the most comfortable place, but he's used to it at this point.  A dab of face powder for shininess is about all he needs.  I mean, what else would you do with his hair?  Braid it?

The actual taping was quick and professional. 

Here's a pic of the host pacing between takes.  I'm not sure why I didn't think it was important to include his head.

The Gorilla and the host have worked together for years now, starting with this series and continuing with this one.  It's a fun partnership.

The Gorilla's episode hasn't aired yet, but I'll keep you posted.  He's pretty darn cute in it.

I am offended by push presents

Have you heard of this?  Push presents?  Where the baby daddy is expected to reward the new mom with some sort of diamond or fur after delivery?

I say "diamond or fur" only halfway tongue-in-cheek, because every time it's discussed it seems to be some sort of jewelry or other item that tends to fall into the romance category.  I didn't exactly scream "I Hate You!" at The Gorilla in the labor room, but I wasn't feel romantic, either.  (And neither was he.  Clearly.)

The idea of push presents has to be a new thing.  It's hard for me to imagine my female sisters of yore DEMANDING some sort of material compensation for pushing out their own baby.  That's what it feels like to me - a diva demand.  Like the underlying tone is, "Look what I did for you while you stood by and did nothing.  I want something shiny to make up for my mangled body and nether regions."

And that is simply not how I view The Gorilla in light of the birth process. 

Now, maybe your husband just wanted to get you something sweet and sentimental to remember the moment.  If that's the sentiment, then I applaud his tender heart.  But if he was sweating it out at Tiffany's two days before your induction, then I wonder if that's coming from him or from your heavy hints. 

The day after my delivery complications with Pigtail, The Gorilla went to the mall with my mom to pick up a few things.  As they passed the Apple store, my sweet husband told my mom that he might drop in and get me a new laptop.  She looked at him like he was crazy and said, "No, let's not."  He hadn't planned to get me any sort of gift, but he was feeling tired and helpless and worried from the past few days and it was all he could think of to make things better.  This memory still makes me giggle. 

I think it's appropriate to mention here that The Gorilla and I also did not exchange wedding gifts - didn't even know we were supposed to, isn't the wedding/honeymoon/eternal love enough? - and we have never exchanged Christmas gifts.  We do, however, go big for birthdays.  These are our own relationship rules, which I understand are not exactly traditional. 

I am not against sweet gestures, I am certainly not against gifts. What I am against is the thought that you deserve anything more than a beautiful healthy baby after you push.

Agree or Disagree?  Are push presents sweet or offensive?

photo by stevendepolo

9*29 happy anniversary to my love

I'm browsing wedding photos today, remembering. 

It was the best day of my life.  Everyone was there, and our joy was reflected back a hundred fold.

Four years.

Forever isn't long enough.

 

(read our love story here)

{giveaway} the gorilla's movies & tv shows with a personal note

 

From his body of work, people expect my husband The Gorilla to be a certain sort of person: crude, violent, foul-mouthed, possibly unkind or at the very least ambivalent to certain niceties.

This couldn't be further from the truth. 

The Gorilla has a powerful presence, the sort of demeanor that people of all ages are drawn toward.  He is polite, generous to a fault, funny, and decisive.  He sees the good in everyone (which has been known to drive me crazy) and his annoyance and anger fuse is miles long.  By his example, I have better learned the difference between what is okay and what is right.

I am grateful for every day that I share this life with him.  Potty-humor and all.

 

I have resisted doing this sort of giveaway for several reasons, but now I'm giving in because

a) The Gorilla celebrated a big birthday over the weekend and I feel like bragging on him.

and

b) It has been requested enough that I'm assuming there must be some sort of interest.

c) I'm fully aware that while these movies and tv shows may not appeal to my core HH readers, it might just appeal to their spouses/brothers/significant others.  Also, if you're ever out of gift ideas then this is a unique one. 

One HH reader will win a package set that contains: the box set of this original television series AND all four seasons of this original series, the first movie, the second movie, 2.5, and the third movie.  BONUS: The Gorilla will sign a note to the winner or to whomever the winner wants. 

To enter: leave a comment on this post telling me if you're actually a fan of this stuff, a secret fan, or if you're hoping to win for someone who is fan.  Only one entry per person, please.

You have until Friday, September 9 2011 at midnight (PST) to enter.  I'll announce the winner in the days that follow. 

Good luck!

sunday in the canyon - VMAs

We spent Sunday evening in downtown LA at the MTV Video Music Awards.  We weren't supposed to cameras, but I did manage to shoot this quick pick of The Gorilla, Drama, and Machine Gun Kelly in the lobby before the show. 

We had a great time at the show.  I'm over at BlogherPop recounting the whole evening.  

fantasy football ring box

It's that time of year again.  This weekend the league will get together for their annual weekend of nerdery and memory-making.  I can't help but re-post.  I also can't help but mention that the weekend will be minus a few crucial members this year.  They are missed, and in our thoughts.

*

My husband is a fantasy football nerd.  It's very serious.  He has been playing since 1991.  I have no idea how that is possible, maybe back then they used stone tablets? 

His current league, made up of his closest college friends and a few family members, has been around for 19 years.  They have named it after some guy who drove a tank through downtown San Francisco.  Inspiring, I suppose.

(An old photo of about half the league.  I couldn't resist.  My husband is on the far right with strange facial hair.)

there's a documentary downstairs

The Gorilla has this cute little habit of coming home and saying something like, "Oh, we're going to shoot a little something at the house tomorrow.  That's okay, right?"

Most of the time it is okay.  People show up and mill around the backyard.  I order a bunch of pizzas. 

Then there was that one time that I came home from a very long day to find a morbidly obese person on my bathroom floor covered in tomato sauce.  That time was not as okay.  But that was years ago. 

Over the weekend The Gorilla shot a few interviews for a documentary he's working on for the Fall.  It was a mellow day, unremarkable in any production way.

It was a two camera shoot, one holding a wide shot, the other close up.  This is Rick syncing the two cameras before they got started.  The bright light made the colors of the man room pop.

Sometimes I stick around and watch, other times I don't.  I like to learn new technical things or marvel how different something (or someone!) looks on camera than it does in real life.  Most of all, I love watching my husband in his element.  Especially when we're at home and he can toss Pigtail around the yard between takes. 

What's that saying?  It may be a crazy life, but it's OUR life.

a funny story about the x-games

The X-Games are always a part of our summer.  The people attending, the people participating, they are The Gorilla's people.  Meaning they are the type of people he likes to be around, and they're the type of people who like to watch his shows.  It is a subculture. 

This year, a cranky pregnant woman (me) and a very busy guy (him) meant that we only made it to one night of the three day event.  We were there long enough to watch Travis (the star of one of The Gorilla's former shows) break his foot and ankle, and then watch a portion of the BMX Big Air before joining a rowdy crowd for dinner.