I try to protect you guys, I do. With very few exceptions, HH is told from my perspective in my voice. But sometimes you just need to hear a story in context.
Since the love story I'm telling this week is very much about my husband The Gorilla, it's only fair that he put in his two cents. He is not a writer, and his language is very different from mine. Besides the tiniest of edits to make things more clear, these words are all his.
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I remember I went to the Charlie Chaplin studios to go talk to Trip and he introduced me to Laura. I thought she was pretty and young. But I was very focused on “How the F am i going to make jackass into a movie.” We didn’t exactly know.
During the movie, she sat at the front of the office so she’d have to buzz people in. I thought she talked funny. Like a hick. I thought it was funny that we had a hillbilly guarding the gate.
I remember she planned a big dinner in South Beach to celebrate Easter. At the dinner her favorite cast member surprised everyone, especially Laura, with an ice sculpture of a bunny with an oversized male dingaling. She was horrified, but it made the dinner a lot better.
In Florida we broke into a smaller unit to film and it was fun because we had been traveling with such a big group and the smaller group felt like the old jackass tv days. Laura was in my unit and we were filming Ryan putting the car up his butt. I was driving the van (why was I driving? That’s how we did it in those days) and there was a ridiculous conversation happening in the back of the van where SteveO was talking about how his dad would never let him do the car up the butt stunt. Bam pointed out that he had already drank wine through a guys butt crack, so what was the big deal? SteveO revealed that he hadn’t told his dad about that yet. It was one of my favorite moments in the movie. Laura filmed all that.
We got the whole car bit and right after that left for Orlando. It was a difficult hidden camera stunt so we were elated that we’d pulled it off. We were super psyched and knew we had the best bit in the movie. On the way to Orlando is when I noticed Laura reading that stupid book.
I liked Laura because she didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the group. She was much more innocent. But she was funny and she had her own spirit about her.
I thought she did a good job in a hard position. I was really proud of her the day that she got the signed video release from the angry golfer. She is just the kind of person you need to ask for a release after we've filmed a stunt. It’s a pain in the ass to have to clean up our mess.
Laura was the worst assistant on the whole planet. It was laughable. Dr. Megan had been like the best. It was really easy to push Laura's buttons, and I loved to get a rise out of her to hear her squawk.
We had a lot of bonding experiences. Laura helped me pick out my suit for the first movie premiere and then did a million house errands with me when I bought my first home.
We got along really well, but it was a long time before I let myself think about her as anything other than a friend.
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The Gorilla will give his conclusion to the love story when I give mine. He says he doesn't want to get ahead of me. I think he just gets squirmy when we get to the part where he has to talk about his feelings.
If you're just joining us, please know that the previous posts contain no reference to genitalia. You can read Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV.
