No one is more surprised than I am that I stuck to a full year (almost) of monthly discipline challenges. I do love a good project, but my excitement usually wanes two thirds of the way through something (see: every room remodel in my house, every scrapbook I’ve ever started). But with each month offering something new to change or tweak, but also with a definite end in sight, a different challenge each month worked with my personality.
Still, some were more successful than others. A few months stood out as life changers. And it wasn’t always the results I would have predicted.
A breakdown:
January: No Shopping
After a holiday click-and-buy fest, I was really ready for this challenge. I’m feeling the same way this year, maybe even more so. I didn’t cheat on this first challenge, not even when I gave myself an exception at the outset to purchase a ski coat. I bought nothing except groceries and toiletries (and one dress, also listed as an exception for an event) and it didn’t even hurt not to do it. It felt good not to shop. I realized how much time and money I was actually spending.
What I said at the end: I knew I browsed online a lot, but since the challenge made me aware of my thought patterns, I realized pretty quickly that more than anything I hop online to shop when I’m bored. Bored! I never even think of myself as a person who gets bored. Maybe the better word would be lazy. When I’m feeling sort of lazy and restless (and this is at least once a day), I browse online for goodness-knows-what. Nothing that I need.
I’m loosely going for the same idea in certain categories right now (although not officially part of a challenge, just as part of my Only What Matters mantra for the year). For example, I’m making a concerted effort not to buy any more books for a few months (my To Read list of things I’ve already purchased is dangerously long), and actively paring down my closet instead of adding to it. I noticed throughout the year that I slipped in and out of this spending habit, usually trying to buy my way out of problem. (Storage baskets instead of actually decluttering, shoe shopping instead of confronting emotion.) This is an ongoing lesson most of us struggle with, I think.
February: Exercise Every Day
Well, this was certainly an eye-opener. My post at the end of this month was called All the Cliches Are True, because I found it to be so. I felt better, looked better, slept better, and no longer hated exercise. The saddest thing to report here? I didn’t keep it up. Since March 1, my efforts at exercise have been few and far between despite KNOWING and EXPERIENCING the effects. Obviously I’m the smartest person in the room.
This worked best for me when I was held accountable by the challenge. I don’t like this about myself, but it’s true. So I’m working on ways to self-motivate including buying The Gorilla an UP band for Christmas to match mine so that we can have a little healthy competition with our activity levels.
March: Social Media Fast
Good grief almighty, this was the worst month. And I was really looking forward to it, really thought it would be enlightening and I would become zen and superior to everyone else staring down at their phones.
This is not what happened. I enjoyed the quiet approximately one week and then it was maddening for a woman who spends large chunks of her day alone and who is accustomed to having information at her finger tips.
I did a breakdown of the month without social media. Here’s what I wrote on Day 24:
It's about habits, I guess. I genuinely thought I would blog more and write much more when I wasn't clicking around on Facebook. I don't keep exact count, but I've kept my writing at almost exactly the same pace. I did spend most of the month entertaining people in my home, so that took up a lot of time, too, but honestly if I really want to write 30 minutes more a day, I think I should start by adding that time in, not taking away something and assuming it will magically happen.
If I really wanted to, I could find 30 extra minutes to write and still throw up an Instagram.
April: Utter Nothing Negative
Well, this was one of two major fails of the year. I barely lasted a week. It was incredibly hard. Here’s what I wrote before I started and here’s what I wrote when it was over. At the time, I was pretty down on myself for how completely I destroyed this habit. I simply gave up on it after so many repeated says of failure in a row.
But in retrospect, the month - even unfinished - had a lasting effect the rest of the year. I became (and still am) much more aware of negative words coming out of my mouth, and this awareness over time has caused a change. Combined with the trip to Haiti that same month and the death of a family member not too long after, I think this month’s challenge and the following awareness made for a more grateful heart. It was not as big of a failure as it felt like at the time.
May: Routine, Routine, Routine
If you had asked me at the beginning of last year, I would have predicted that the May challenge to have a bedtime routine (wash face, journal, lights off and then awake at the same time each day) would be the one that would stick.
That’s not what happened. Thinking back on it now, seven months later, I have almost no thoughts about how that challenge went. I know I did it. But it didn’t take hold, nor did it make such an impact that I consciously made a decision to uphold it or dismiss it. Curious.
June: Write 30 Letters
My intentions were pure when I declared this challenge, and I started off strong. I wrote quite a handful of the letters to people I love, people who influenced my life when I was young, people that I miss. Then we had a great loss in our family and even though I believe this is a worthy and meaningful challenge, it was no longer a priority. I had every intention of seeing it through before the year ended, but that didn’t happen.
There was no challenge in July because of family circumstances.
August: Eat at Home
The August challenge to Eat at Home was abbreviated but still became one of the most important challenges of the whole project. I knew this was one I needed to tackle, even though I vowed not to do too many challenges that involved food (since I strongly believe this about food challenges).
Like almost every other month, I chose this challenge as a response to a habit I wanted to make or break, and it worked. I was glad when it was over (sometimes a mom’s best friend is pizza delivery), but this month introduced me to meal planning, which I’ve taken on lightly in the last several months and that makes my world that much easier.
September: Don’t Be Late
A completely unknown contender, September’s challenge to be on time everywhere has emerged as the winner of the whole year. And by “winner” I just mean it had the most immediate impact and is one of the few I can say I’ve stuck with.
Again, I chose this challenge as a necessity because it was something that drove me crazy about myself and others. But instead of it being a challenge, Within one week I realized how much stress it lifted. I would never have categorized general tardiness (even by as little as 10 minutes) to be “stress,” but when it was eliminated, it did make a difference in my mood and schedule. And unlike most of the other challenges, it was the easiest to implement. So win/win. I am now a more punctual person.
October: Write 30,000 Words
I actually kind of cannot believe I did this one. Like the exercise in February, it was like pulling teeth to get myself in the chair every day for 1,000 words, but once it happened I’d never felt better. Also like February, I didn’t keep it up after the month was through. But I have every intention to return to it starting this month. Those 30,000 words I wrote in October were part of a bigger project and proving to myself that I could actually churn out that much stuff in daily spurts meant something to me.
November: Listen
Practicing the art of listening felt like it wouldn’t mean much for the year as a whole because I couldn’t quantify my success or failure. But I was aware of it, every day, and especially during Thanksgiving week and traveling with family, choosing to listen instead of speak was a wise decision. Like the Utter Nothing Negative challenge, the awareness of what I was saying (or not saying) reverberated. This one is hard to say much about (hardee har har), but I’m glad I did it. Here's what I wrote at the end of it.
December: No Phone
Even though I knew I was due this sort of discipline during the busy and meaningful holiday season, I sort of thought I would hate a No Phone December much like I hated the social media fast back in March. But in truth it was a nice compromise. I dropped my phone by the door with my keys and sunglasses and only checked it every few hours for pertinent communication. So I wasn’t on my phone while standing around the kitchen (I guess I do this a lot?) and I didn’t have a phone to look at right before I went to bed or upon first waking.
BUT I wasn’t cut off, either. When I was working on my computer I had social media running in the background and when I wasn’t at home I had my phone with me (though I tried extra hard not to zone out on it, even when out and about). I noticed that without the constant buzz of communication, my inner self was calmer. I also noticed that I took a lot fewer photos (which means I also posted a lot fewer photos). I had high hopes at the beginning of the month that I would use my nice camera more, but that didn’t happen. I just took very few photos, total. So that wasn’t ideal, but I really liked not being a slave to the phone.
Even my dad noticed in Oklahoma that I was phone-less and that it was lovely. By that time it was the last week of the month and it had become habit to leave the phone elsewhere, but to have him mention it validated my efforts. So I want to remember this one more often, too.
That’s it. That’s the very long explanation of my year-long discipline project. I learned a lot on both shallow and deeper levels. Would I take on something like this again? Yes, absolutely. But not this year.